Rupert is a 36 years old man with a soft tissue disorder and is obviously out of shape. He writes, "I am trying my best to lose weight and I have made progress. I am attracted to younger, athletic women with hard bodies. Problem is: they're not attracted to me. I usually get more "Holla" from older, out-of-shape unhealthy women. I want to wait till I am fit and trim but I am lonely. My question is: Will I have to wait until I get to my goal weight before I am ready for a relationship? Or Should I settle for what and who is available even though I am trying to better my health standards in a mate?"

People look for similarities in their partners

I hope you realize this, but even though women might disagree and sometimes opposites attract, they are always looking for a long-term partner despite being in the dating game casually. Obviously, they try to target men that they find attractive and who will find them attractive. No wonder then that skinny people are attracted to and targeting skinny people.

There are two solutions to your dilemma.

• First, date casually whoever is available right now and be upfront and honest about it. Say that you are not looking for a serious relationship at this point. That will allow you to go on occasional dates and fight your loneliness.
  
• Secondly, date women in your situation that you are most likely to run into a gym. They are also trying to lose weight and become fit. That way you have something in common and eventually you both will have what you want. Yep, you can go out on a workout date.

In the meantime, you can work to get fit so that you can then target your dream girls. Unless you have something else that is incredibly appealing to women (e.g. money, yacht, beach home, unique talent, etc.) it will be hard to attract an athletic woman till you are not fit.

Dora, a Hispanic girl obsessed with Asian guys, says, "I am a nurse so I know plenty of Asian guys (there are a lot of Asians in the medical field). I also have lots of Asian friends; FRIENDS sadly :-(. Most of them date Asians; Asian girls are tough competition; they are so pretty. At the moment I think I'm going to take like a little time to get myself to a healthier weight. Maybe that way I can catch a pair of Asian eyes. I also am very shy, so it's very hard for me to talk to guys."

Well that is so great since you don't have to go looking elsewhere. But there is no need to wait till you lose weight because if you wait there will always be something or the other that you will see as a barrier. So go right ahead and start the game.

And yes, many Asians do gravitate towards Asian girls but isn't that true for Latin (or for that matter any race or ethnic group) men too? However, there is always someone who might like you; so do not get discouraged if you are perceived as an outsider and get rejected a few times.

And I hope you can overcome your shyness.

Dump your fat boyfriend?

If you and your partner are both big and you are fine with it, well, good for you, though, I would still recommend that you workout, go on a diet, and try to lose weight. Your doctor will say the same thing.

What if you are in good health but your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend is fat? If possible, this is the perfect excuse and the time to end the relationship. A new study says that if you cannot make your obese partner lose weight, you too will become overweight. Not good.