While many older women now date younger men and it does not raise many eyebrows these days, men have traditionally married women their age or younger than them. Some of it had to do with the fact that men are fertile much longer while women find it hard to be pregnant as they get older and it is nearly impossible for them to have a healthy child in their 40s. Here is more information on the reasons why men choose younger women.

Women definitely want to find out what a man wants. The answer is not an easy one because these are as many things that men are looking for as there are men, but regardless, certain traits are common for all men. Indeed, when it comes to men seeking out women, good looks are a good starting point but from then on men are looking for the same things that women are looking for: confidence, sense of humor, good company, good habits, etc. (Related: What do women want from their husbands?)

It is fairly obvious that modern men no longer look at women to be homemakers (and accordingly have traits that will help them become those); they are looking for life-long companions that will be interesting, fun to be around, and be their friends. Watch this video to find out what men really want.

If you are single (well, it looks like a lot of people even in relationships seek other partners), chances are that you will or have already looked online for relationships. By the way, if you want to try online dating for free, you are welcome to join our free dating website.

Unfortunately, finding a partner online is much more competitive than finding someone at a local bar - there's just too much competition. It is like finding a job online; if you don't stand out, no one will even look. All the way from writing your personal ad to having professionally taken pictures to the way you communicate can make a huge difference to your chance of succeeding in finding that perfect woman or man. Here are some tips from the gurus of internet dating.

We at LuvCube publish selected stories about love and relationships. Here is a beautiful and inspirational story of Ingrid.

"I was always attracted to older men. It's not just physical attraction; I was always more mature than my age and couldn't see myself with younger guys.

I often wonder what exactly is considered a large age gap? 5 years? 10 years? 35 years? I'm not sure if anyone can explain where the designation would start. People who are on the same spiritual and intellectual levels don't have to be the same age to have a meaningful relationship. I don't think age is as important as maturity and compatibility. Love is love. When you are in love, what can you do? Love has no age. Age is an issue only when you want it to be an issue.

I am now in a relationship with a man 25 years older (I am 25) and I couldn't be happier. It’s an interesting experience in some ways because of the challenges it brings. I also believe that opposites do attract, sometimes. We have a wonderful relationship and a passion for each other. We both love each other. We rarely fight, and just because we try to resolve our problems, we both know how to find a compromise. I can share ups and downs of life with him, we both have a good sense of humor, we mutually respect each other, we have a lot of good/bad times, but we learn from and grow stronger every time. We have differences in many things but it also gives us the chance to share each others interests along with the interests we have together. Everybody has experiences - some good, some bad.

Relationships with age gaps are not for everyone, but if you think you can manage it, then why not? I think our life together is fantastic, despite our little problems and I can tell that I 'm a woman who intends to spend all my life with him. But sometimes he feels insecure (How to deal with insecure men?) that in the future, I will be unhappy and regret the decision to be with him and he doesn't want to have to go through that. We're both truly in love right now and I can't think about anybody or anything else rather than making a life with him.

Everybody irrespective of their age is able to fall in love and be loved. There is no reason why this feeling should not make them happy. The relationship can survive when you look over the age difference and see each other as two loving people with pounding hearts and romantic feelings. We've been together for almost 2 years and I am still madly in love with him."

Men not only appear to have commitment phobia, they some times even do not want to admit that they are dating someone. Laura recently ended up with a guy like that. While Karl was sweet to her and treated her well when the two of them were together, but would never offer to hang out with friends and family members. Then one day she found out something even worse. Read it in her own words.

"Karl is a an actor and the other day I decided to surprise him by going to his show. During the intermission, I sent word backstage that I was in the audience. After the show was over, I went to meet him. He introduced me to a few of his cast members but one girl asked if I was his girlfriend, and I just heard him say, "I told you already I don't have a girlfriend." I said goodbye and left. I decided that I'm taken for granted by this man. We have done everything that couples do and he still thinks that we are not in a relationship. I don't knw if I should cut him off completely or just have him as a friend. What do you think?"

My Advice

You know "I told you already I don't have a girlfriend" is the operative expression. In other words, either he is just using you or does not think of you as girlfriend material, of even worse, he has another girlfriend.

I know it takes a while before you start to publicly introduce your girlfriend and in that situation, he should have said, "Yes, that is the beautiful lady I am dating right now and I am so happy." That way you are still not saying that you are in a serious relationship but you are not treating the woman like a piece of garbage either.

My recommendation would be that you let him go - if you continue to be with him, he will simply assume that you are desperate and continue to humiliate you like this. If he is dating you, he should have had no problems saying that you two are dating right now - even if he did not want to introduce you as his girlfriend.

I know it is going to be hard but maybe it is time to move on.

Nicki has recently met a much younger man and their relationship has been going fairly well despite the fact she is sometimes concerned that he shows college-student mentality towards the relationship. He has, however, promised to do his best to make things work. "My main issue now is to get him to do certain things while intimate. I think he does not appear to have as much bedroom experience as I do and I am willing to teach him. Should I wait till we are a serious couple to demand things as far as physical intimacy is concerned or should I try to give hints for now? I think I did give a little hint the other day but there is something very specific that I like. I know some men are not into it or can't even think of doing it, so I am somewhat afraid to say it so openly. What do you think?" she asks.

First of all, never assume anything. In other words, you never know until you find out - and just because I have never done something it does not mean that I will never do it. Maybe I never got the chance and that is why I may not get a hint or may not suggest it myself or even show my reluctance doing it the very first time.

Secondly, the best way to do it is to suggest it as something fun to do rather than saying that you love it, you have always done it, and if he doesn't do it, he is an idiot. For example, if you could show him a film (What about Femme de Chambre du Titanic) or a photo (even better if you do that during a romantic getaway) and then casually mention - "Oh, that sounds like so much fun; I would love to try that with you" - and see what happens. Most men are pretty adventurous; trust me.

I think, therefore, you better give hints right now. Why? If he does not pay attention or is unable to make progress as you wish, well, it will give you something to think about - do you still want to be with him long term?

There is no doubt that jealousy is a very negative emotion, but can this negativism be turned into something so positive that it becomes a powerful force of change?

Yes, it can be, so says Dr. Deborah Anapol, author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love. "What if rather than being something to be avoided, jealousy is to be welcomed as a way to illuminate the subtle ways our ego insinuates itself into our spiritual endeavors, revealing powerful opportunities for personal evolution?" she asks in her book "Compersion (a made up word which means the opposite of jealousy): Using Jealousy as a Path to Unconditional Love."

Dr. Anapol explains, "The book grew out of my own experiences and those of many clients and workshop participants over the years processing their jealousy. It consists of a collection of one-page meditations. These meditations are intended to challenge and restructure common beliefs about the nature of love and relationship. This process of self-examination turns up whatever may be in the way of true unconditional love. The lesson is to let jealousy be your teacher."

While the current hot topic is younger men dating older women, the trend of older men in relationships with much younger women is not over. However, we have been surprised by one of our reader's story. She writes, "I am 31, and my significant other just turned 72. We have a great relationship. Most of the people in our lives, his 3 daughters, (his youngest is 9 years older than me), and my 3 children (12, 7, and 4) are all fine with our relationship. Of course, in the begining, there were questions from everyone. But now, there are only a couple people in our lives - my dad and step-mom, and his 24 year old grandson that has a problem. I was married before, he is widowed. We care about each other and we support each other, take care of ourselves and each other, and we both learn a lot from each other. I never imagined I would ever meet someone this special. By the way, he is not particularly wealthy, so I can't be accused of being a gold-digger. The hardest part is being in public. People think he is my grandfather, and when they find out our relationship are pretty obviously taken back. It is hard to meet others that can relate, and it is hard to know how to respond to confrontation. Any advice?"

Well, in over five years that we have operated LuvCube talking about such relationships, you are probably the couple with the biggest age gap. In any case, the most high profile case is that of Anna Nicole Smith and her husband J. Howard Marshall II since they had an age gap of 63 years. While she always claimed that he was the love of her life, no one believed her and called her a gold-digger.

While people are more accepting, as you have found out, your case is an exception. In other words, what it means is that you will have to live with this the rest of your life and learn to deal with it. Let me give you an example. My wife does not use my last name. So it is not uncommon for people to address us by each other's last names depending who they know. So the phone company (phone is in her name) always addresses me using her last name. What can we do? There is nothing offensive about it but it is awkward at times for me to be called at times with a last name that I love but is not mine.

How to deal with the situation?

This is what I would suggest. In situations where it is only temporary (e.g. when you check into a hotel and the clerk does not realize that he is your boyfriend), there is no reason to correct or to engage in a conversation trying to clarify it. You will only be making your life difficult. On the other hand, for people that must understand - family members, friends, etc. - you must politely and without embarassment - correct them. There is no reason to give long explanations. We all have a right to fall in love with anyone we choose to and others should respect that.

The sad reality of the world is that people just expect things to be a certain way. Men will only marry women. Children will only be born to heterosexual couples. People will only marry others like them. Remember not too long ago it was a scandal to marry someone of another race.

I would say that just because of the public reaction you should not stop living your life. Live your life as if his age is not an issue. Eventually people will see the beauty of it all and get used to it. Some idiots, though, never will. Don't worry about the idiots.

Todd writes, "I met my old flame recently by chance. 25 years ago we were in deep love but things did not work out for us. She is married with children and so am I. She tells me to continue being a good husband and father, while I want to revive our old romance. What should I do? Should I go back to my ex?"

It seems that while you may be interested in reviving the relationship (maybe because you are not happy in your current one), she is not. Therefore, it will be a waste of your time to puruse it with her. On the contrary, she might even be offended, and, if you had any hope of having her as a family friend, that maybe gone too. I would say, why don't you maintain a friendship with her so that you can occasionally entertain as a family guest. Introduce her to your family as an old friend (from school, college, whatever your story is) and keep it a platonic relationship. Relationship with an old flame is tricky. Your highschool sweetheart may not turn out to be the same person that you were crazy about.

Relationship with your ex is a delicate issue especially if the divorce or the breakup was ugly. The feelings are even more bitter when it was a result of adultery or dispute over money. But is it a good idea to talk bad about your ex (think Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards here)?

Maybe the answer is provided by Uma Thurman (who coincidentally also stars in "My super ex-girlfriend."). In several interviews she has admitted that she had a bad marriage (and so has Teri Hatcher) with Ethan Hawke and there are some reports that he may have cheated on her, but in an interview in Parade, she says that she does not believe in being critical about her ex-husband. (Related: Should I go back to my ex?)

"I think it's fair to say that I haven't said one mean thing, and I'm not going to start now. It's terrible for my family," she said. "I'm just another American woman who was in an unfulfilled marriage that fell apart," she added.

Indeed, not every one has a perfect marriage and many of us are lonely and depressed in our relationships. Some of us even choose to end our relationships and move on, but friendship with your ex is generally a good idea.

By Imfwama Wotela

When women have to make a choice about taking their Ex back, they often have a difficult time separating emotions from reason. Since it is never a good idea to take a risk twice, it is best if you think clearly this time what is the best course of action. (Related article: Should you take your Ex back?)

It’s important that you realize that life must go on and there are certain things that you do not want to go back to. Reason being that it may weigh you down and take you backward, and even worse, history repeating itself, particularly if you ended the relationship because it was abusive. I don’t think you want to walk that road again. It’s true we all deserve a second chance but be careful how you apply this very vital principle into your life. (Related article: What is the purpose of life?)

It’s always important that you know the reasons why you are making certain choices. Always ask yourself questions as they help lead to answers that help you to make better decisions. Also always tell yourself that you deserve the best out of life and that it’s always good to have new experiences. If you had given this same man 10 years of your life and he messed them up, what guarantee do you have that if you gave him another 15 years of your productive life, that he will not do the same (Go back to ex). Yes, there are chances that love can work out a second time with the same person and these thoughts are not to discourage you or to make you have a vengeful spirit, but it is to help you to think more carefully and not fall into the same pitfall.

Here are a few questions that you should ask so that you can come up with an answer to your dilemma:

• Have I failed to find somebody else who can appreciate me?
• Do I still love him?
• Am I ready for him now?
• Have we sorted out our differences now?
• Can we now agree on the future?
• How sure am I that it is love and not pity?
• Have I really forgiven him?
• Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?
• Is it because the kids miss their dad? Is it for mine or the kid’s sake?
• Am I able to put the past behind us and start again with him or without him?

A person’s life is very precious and always remember that the part you will give and also the time you give will never get it back if you give it out to the wrong person. It is just the same when you give or lend out anything it will never come back the same because people will not always handle your things the way you do because we are all different and do things differently. What may be precious to you might not be so for the next person. (Related article: Do you know the true purpose of your life?)

It took you a while for you to repair your life, to heal and move on without him. Are you prepared to undo all the hard work for the sake of one person who almost destroyed you at one time? You really need to think deeply about this. You only have one life and you can’t risk it all. Neither can you use the last part of it for experiments anymore. You now need to live it to the full because now you are wiser and have learnt from your mistakes and it’s a time for better things. After considering the above you can now answer the question: do I take him back or not? The only one to answer this is you.

Recommended article: How to find the right friends and how to evaluate their friendship?

Friendship with ex-wife: Good idea!

Mark writes, "I've been divorced for two years. My ex-wife and I are still friends and although we don't talk all the time, maybe twice a month at the most, my new and potentially serious girlfriend has a huge issue with it. She has met her and knows that there is no way that we would ever re-connect. My ex and I have made it a point to remain friends after all that we've been through and yet it makes my present girlfriend extremely uncomfortable and jealous. Is this a case of jealousy that will never go away? What do I do? I really care for both and on some level I don't want to break either relationship off. Any suggestions?"

1. Americans better get used to the new reality. With 50% divorce rates, we already have situations where it is hard to keep track of all the complex marital situations and who is father/mother of what child. So the bottomline is that couples will continue to be divorced and divorces will become increasingly less bitter. That means that couples will stay friends, rather than turn into bitter enemies. So if you are going to date a divorcee, you better get used to seeing the exes once in a while and your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband maintaining a mature friendship with the ex.
2. We at LuvCube.com believe that even after marriage, each partner should be allowed to have good friends of both sexes. The spouse does not have to be friends with all of these folks. It is actually good for both partners and for the relationship. In fact, our research has found that when a partner has a close friend of the opposite sex with whom s/he can share almost anything, the relationship with the spouse improves. There are things that you can never talk to your spouse about without getting personal about it. With a friend, it is much easier to discuss such things and get objective feedback/suggestions/ guidance. For example, if I tell my wife that she is starting to get fat and is no longer as pretty as she used to be, we will probably have a divorce. However, I can, and do, tell a friend and she will actually appreciate it.
3. If this woman is so jealous now, things will only get worse when you marry her. She will feel more right over you and would not want you to be seen with any other woman at all. Not a good situation to be in.
4. It seems that you have a good friendly relationship with your ex-wife. And that is the way it should be. After all, for God's sake, she was your wife at one time and you loved her. You have every right to be friends with her and as long as you give all your love to the next woman, she has no business to tell you who you are friends with. (Related: Should I go back to my ex?)
   
5. My advice: You might want to tell your girlfriend what your thoughts are, lay out all the facts, and hold your position. If she wants to leave, let her go. You will surely find someone who is a bit more open-minded than this.
   

Related reading

Dating after divorce

Cheating and divorce

Emotions after divorce

Impact of divorce on families