Erin writes, "My boyfriend and I had a big fight because he would not commit to a lifelong relationship with me even though we have been together for 7 years. Now I feel bad and secretly hope that he will call me and we can be together again. I am going to wait for a while and probably have to use one of my friends to help us get back together. At this point, though, I am not sure if I want to accept never living together with my boyfriend or marry him. Not only it does not make sense for older people (I want someone to call 911 when I fall and break my hip), it really makes me feel like a mistress."

Breakup is best when a couple has differing visions for the future

I think if you cannot accept anything other than living together or marriage, it is fruitless to even trying to make it work. If he changes his mind about a lifelong commitment to you, he will contact you. If he does not and has not, it simply means that he values his freedom more than a relationship with you.

I think it is best that you simply try to move on without him, as you said in your parting words to him. Not every good man is good husband material, and the sooner you get him out of your system, the faster you can find someone who shares the same vision for the future as you do.

Never be needy or desperate for a relationship

On a related note, I am assuming that you are a smart, educated woman but an attitude like yours (do not call yourself old; I never want to even think that I am old; or talking about being physically disabled) might turn off many men who might find you needy and desperate. You want to live with a man not because you need someone to call 911 (I have seen an ad on TV for a LifeAlert necklace that calls 911 with the press of a button) or to tend you if you break your hip, but because you love him and enjoy his company.

How can I stop feeling sorry for myself after breakup?

Cindy writes, "I fell in love with a guy I thought I would be with for the rest of my life ten years ago. He has broken up with me and tried to come back in my life so many times. Most recently, he did so after being in jail and after being married to another woman. He made me all these promises about finally doing it right and then we fell out and flipped everything on me like it was my fault. I don't want him back, but how do I get over what he did to me. I saw his new girl on his Facebook page and I'm just mad that he can move on so quickly, but I'm still hurt about the hurtful things that he said and did to me. Help!"

Now as we all know, bad things happen to us all the time and the best thing to do is to eliminate that negative energy. That is why it is very important that no matter what he says you ask him not to contact you. To forget him you will need to stop all types of communication with him. That also means not bothering to check out his online profiles and bothering to find out what he is up to.

If he has moved on, so should you. No reason for you to feel pity for yourself. Instead, as I like to tell my readers, buy some makeup, a dress or two, put some high heels on, and start having fun -- when you are happy inside, it will show and guys will beg to love you.