Caroline writes, "I have a boyfriend but I have a really serious crush on a guy 9 years younger than me. I can't get him out of my thoughts! I've caught him looking at me a number of times and checking me out. He also stays quite close to me when we discuss things. Or I could be super-aware of his presence that I feel him as close. I really like his eyes; they're so intense and he maintains eye contact with me when he speaks with me; he never looks away unless he's showing me something. I sometimes wonder if he likes me back but I could be reading too much into it. He's probably just paying close attention to our conversations and that's it. I'm afraid that if I read too much into his actions that are innocent and mean nothing to him at all then I might be putting our cordial professional relationship at risk! How do I stop reading too much into his actions? How do I get over this crush? How do I stop thinking about him? I help him at work so there's no escape really. He's funny, friendly and so easy to talk to. I can tell other girls are comfy around him too. I also heard he's working on dating someone, so his attentions are elsewhere but my hopeful, dumb heart wonders, does he like me back? Then I feel I could get really intimate with him at all levels! All these crazy thoughts! I don't want to be affected by him anymore. How do I free myself from this? Your suggestions would be highly appreciated."

As I read your email, what I am reading between the lines is that you may not really want to get over this crush. Am I wrong?

How to crush a crush?

If you want to get over this crush you have to see it in the context of your current relationship. How will you feel if your boyfriend was fantasizing about other girls? Will you not feel terrible and even consider dumping him? So put yourself in his shoes and that will help you get rid of all those temptations that you are having towards this cute guy.

Having said that, if your current relationship is not so serious, I would suggest that you yield to the temptation and see what happens. Maybe the feeling is mutual or maybe you read it all wrong and that is just his style. So start some flirting and see where that goes, but keep me in the loop.

Should I date my coworker?

The topic of office romance is a very relevant one since we spend so much time at work these days. Due to legal issues, most companies have put policies in place so that office romance can hurt you. Despite that women often write How to seduce my boss and men fantasize about seducing their secretaries. Teachers and students too have relationships in universities. However, as Paul Wolfowitz found out, dating your colleagues is risky.

These policies have been written by management and the legal department but that is not how the employees feel. An online survey by CareerBuilder found a significant drop in the number of workers who are keeping an office romance a secret, down from 46 percent in 2005 to 34 percent in 2007. About half of workers say they have dated a co-worker. By the way, if you are single, try our free dating website.

While there is a rationale for dating your coworkers I still have problems with it even if your employer does not ban it or even encourages it. In the workplace, we already find that people have their favorites and that often causes unfair outcomes during promotion and bonuses. Once we know that someone is dating a boss or an assistant, it makes everyone else look at them with a bias that they are not going to be able to take fair decisions.

Plus, once you breakup, it is hard to get any work done. In other words, it is best for everyone that you simply do not date your colleagues.