Rupert is a 36 years old man with a soft tissue disorder and is obviously out of shape. He writes, "I am trying my best to lose weight and I have made progress. I am attracted to younger, athletic women with hard bodies. Problem is: they're not attracted to me. I usually get more "Holla" from older, out-of-shape unhealthy women. I want to wait till I am fit and trim but I am lonely. My question is: Will I have to wait until I get to my goal weight before I am ready for a relationship? Or Should I settle for what and who is available even though I am trying to better my health standards in a mate?"

People look for similarities in their partners

I hope you realize this, but even though women might disagree and sometimes opposites attract, they are always looking for a long-term partner despite being in the dating game casually. Obviously, they try to target men that they find attractive and who will find them attractive. No wonder then that skinny people are attracted to and targeting skinny people.

There are two solutions to your dilemma.

• First, date casually whoever is available right now and be upfront and honest about it. Say that you are not looking for a serious relationship at this point. That will allow you to go on occasional dates and fight your loneliness.
  
• Secondly, date women in your situation that you are most likely to run into a gym. They are also trying to lose weight and become fit. That way you have something in common and eventually you both will have what you want. Yep, you can go out on a workout date.

In the meantime, you can work to get fit so that you can then target your dream girls. Unless you have something else that is incredibly appealing to women (e.g. money, yacht, beach home, unique talent, etc.) it will be hard to attract an athletic woman till you are not fit.

Dump your fat boyfriend?

If you and your partner are both big and you are fine with it, well, good for you, though, I would still recommend that you workout, go on a diet, and try to lose weight. Your doctor will say the same thing.

What if you are in good health but your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend is fat? If possible, this is the perfect excuse and the time to end the relationship. A new study says that if you cannot make your obese partner lose weight, you too will become overweight. Not good.