Natalie writes, "My husband and I had a relationship for almost 5 years and we married one year ago. I really love him. I can sacrifice anything, including my life to keep him safe and happy. At the same time, I have to admit I am just a little bit tired of our relationship. I can't find passion any longer. I want to find another relationship and this kind of thought make me feel guilty. I mean I don't want to leave my husband but I want to fall in love with others. It is not right. What can I do?"

I really admire your love for your husband and how much you are willing to sacrifice for his happiness and safety.

Now as you are rightfully feeling so, marriages can get a little boring after a while. You have not told me exactly what is wrong with him or your marriage, but most women and men realize that marriage is not like how they show in the movies or wedding magazines. After a while sex is not the same, the husband may not pay as much attention to you, and the worries about money and household can make it so stressful. Also, the first few years of marriage are the most challenging because we have to manage our expectations and are more likely to react strongly to whatever we don't like.

I think the media has glamorized wedding and marriage. For vast majority of people, yes, it is nice to have a man that loves you and you can then face all the challenges of life together, but it is a tough life out there and marriage, with all its responsibilities, makes it even harder.

Now if you have completely fallen out of love with your husband, then you have to really consider if you want to remain married. You have a long life ahead of you and if you do not love your man, that will be a problem. But I understand why some women simply cannot consider divorce. In that case, you have to figure out what is it that is missing in your marriage or life. It is best to talk to your husband about it and try to make it happen. For example, if he works too hard, you can discuss to make sure that you two spend enough time together. Or whatever else that is problematic, you can see if you can change it.

Regarding getting another lover, well, I sometimes support that idea, but as you know, it is not right and very problematic. You can be caught and no man will love you forever and be the other man. Eventually this man will also like to have a wife and family of his own. But yes, this is possible. I know many women who have part-time lovers that they meet from time to time for dates and sex or even go on vacation with them. They prefer young men (for example, college students) who are more likely to listen to what you tell them to do, and once they leave town, there are always new students coming to the university. And I don't know if you are interested, but these days, it is possible to have online relationship.

How do I make sure that my boyfriends makes love to me?

Mandy writes, "I met this guy and we hit it off great. We spend time together, we've met each others families, we are the same age, and we have so much in common. My problem is now that the newness has worn off he has gotten too comfortable and the sex has slowed down. I want to keep things fresh and try something new. He seems little shy when it comes to this kind of stuff. How do I get him to open up more to me? I feel we could really have a great future together if he would let me in. Help. What do I do?"

It is almost always the case that sex does go down in any relationship once the newness is gone and a couple starts to spend more time together. Having said that, a couple can also experience a surge once they become really comfortable with each other and want to please each other even more because they are truly in love.

In your situation, with his being a bit shy and the excitement subsiding, I would say that you should be in control of sex from now on. Be the one to plan and initiate it and I am sure that he will go for the ride. Try different things and then ask him for for specific (not generic like "how was it?" but more specific "what did you think of this specific angle of penetration?") feedback.

And finally always put intimacy on the calendar the way you would put meals or grocery shopping or laundry or vacations. That way he would understand that you will have sex X times a week and the way you change your menu or outfits regularly, you will change your sexual adventures.

Trust me; a man is like a dog that needs training and once it knows that it has to get the newspaper for you every morning from the front yard, it will do it and then wag its tale to tell you how pleased it is to do it for you.