Kurt writes, "I am secretly in love with a woman twice my age but although being 45 years old she looks like she's in her mid 30's. Needless to say she's blessed. She's very beautiful and has a great personality. She currently lives with a boyfriend but I am told by a mutual friend that she likes me too but is struggling to decide who to pick. She is not financially independent. I live with my parents to help them out in the current economy. As for my financial situation I'm individually very stable but due to the economy my parents are not and I decided to help out by moving in with them temporarily. Believe me I never thought I would like anyone double my age but it sort of just happened. We basically like the same things, movies, books, music, you name it. I've never had so much in common with anyone which would explain much of my attraction towards her. I've never been much of a romantic but then again I never thought I'd meet a person like her. To be completely honest, if things turned out my way I'd marry her ASAP. I couldn't care less about our age difference. I wish I can talk to her about our situation but I wouldn't know where to start. I just want to know how things are with her. I know we're close but this is something that will effect our beautiful friendship and possibly a future romantic relationship, if any. I know our mutual friend told me that she's in love with me but I'd rather hear it from her own mouth and if there's a chance it could work out or if I should just move on with my life."

How to help a woman decide which man to choose?

This is what I would suggest.

1. First, either through your mutual friend or directly, tell her exactly how you feel. Do not fear anything. Be honest. And be prepared for the consequences like a brave man. If she is not in love with you, that is fine; at least you will know for sure. But since we know that she is, it will be good for her to know how you feel about her and that might help her decide easily who she wants to be with: her current boyfriend or you.
2. Secondly, if she chooses to be with you, then you both can talk it out and figure out a plan. I am hoping that the economy will not be bad forever and if she is a bit patient, you two can live together and be happy. I strongly believe that good lovers are so difficult to find and if one finds them, it is critical that all efforts be made to succeed. If you have found this woman, then go for it like a man.

Josh writes, "I worked with a woman for over a year and during that time we developed a very close friendship. We talked about everything, even things deemed inappropriate by some people. As time went by I started to have feelings for her; soon those feelings turned to love but during this time I found out she had a boyfriend. Needless to say I was upset. Through a mutual friend I learned that she has feelings for me and her boyfriend but is torn between us. The only advantage this guy holds over me is that she lives with him and if she moved out she'd have no place to go. I would love for her to be with me but I recently moved back with my parents to help them out financially, so it's not possible at the moment. I know she's not happy with him; he never acknowledges her as his girlfriend to anyone. In fact he dumped her once already because of their age difference; she's 45 and he's 34 but they got back together. In my opinion he doesn't deserve her; he treats her more like a maid than a girlfriend. I'm just 24; I know I'm a lot younger than her but to me age is nothing but a number. I honestly don't know what to do. I want to be with her so much that it hurts but at the same time her happiness is more important and in the end that's all that matters."

You are in a very difficult situation. You are literally half her age, she is not single at the moment, and you are unable to provide what she needs now (a boyfriend who can also provide her with a place to live).

Do you really want to be with a woman in a relationship?

On one hand, I think that you should simply maintain a friendship with her, considering that she is a nice person, but the idea of a real, long-term relationship is a risky one (I don't like dating desperate women and she is desperate). You are young and romantic and I am sure that you will meet a lot of better women (both young and old) who are also single so that you two can date freely.

How to be with a woman who is not independent and unavailable?

On the other hand, if you think that this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, be patient. Tell her so and ask her to be patient while you build the financial cushion you need to move out of your parent's home and then invite her to live with you and eventually marry her.

Katie writes, "I have been in a relationship with a truck driver for two years. He is faithful, loving, and spiritual. He is great with my children, helpful around the house and he's considerate. My problems are he does not help pay bills no matter how much I try to talk about it and no matter how much I fuss over it. He will give me one hundred dollars toward a bill or nothing at all but mainly it's nothing at all. I don't want to end the relationship but I feel that I have done all I can. I even put him out of my house because of the finances. I am confused because he wants to work things out and I don't know what to do."

If I understand the living arrangements right, he is abusing it -- you pay the bills and he lives rent free. If he is not helping pay the bills, I am assuming that he does not consider himself part of the household.

As a truck driver he is probably on the road most of the time and when he is in town, he just sleeps in your house (and he thinks he is a guest). It is a perfect arrangement for him -- he does not need to have a place, pay rent for it and maintain it, but he still has a place to call his own.

He is clearly exploiting the situation. I think that you have done enough to address it and the only course left for you is that you tell him not to come and stay with you when he is in town. He is still welcome to date you but as far as finding a place to sleep he should figure that out.

If he wants to work things out, well, then, sit down and rewrite the rules. He will need to contribute a fixed amount each month towards the bills if he wants to have a nice, warm bed when he needs it. No payments and he is out of the house.

If you are a couple that has done everything right and have reached a point in life that you just want to enjoy the rest of your life without any worries and responsibilities, then you have earned it. Not many couples reach this point because there is always something left to be done, and sometimes it is for the sake of children on grandchildren. If you have been financially responsible most of your life, one option to enjoy the last phase of your life is to take out a reverse mortgage, but be careful, the fees can be extremely high since the lender is making a wild guess about how long you will live. Watch the video to find out what to be careful about.

For couples considering buying (or refinancing) a home, there may be one more headache to deal with: more scrutiny by mortgage lenders. In the past, while the banks may have been too liberal, now the pendulum has swung the other way. After problems in the sub-prime mortgage market, they are now strict with everyone demanding more documents and looking at credit scores more closely. So be prepared with documentation and if your credit history is less than stellar, you might have to pay higher interest rates.

Whether you are single (why don't you join our free dating website) or in a relationship, your personal finances should be healthy. As couples it is even more important to keep your money issues resolved since money can be a big reason for friction. In order to keep your money matters in control, you have to look at your credit score carefully, since it affects your borrowing ability: how much can you borrow and at what interest rate.

So how can you achieve a high credit score?

Watch this excellent video to learn a few simple things that if you do over a period of time, you can save a lot of money in the long run.

Tips for abused women with no money

Maggie is an abusive relationship that is wearing her down. Plus, she does not see a way to get out of it easily. "My boyfriend is physically and emotionally abusive to me. I do work but make so little money that I cannot live independently. He provides a roof over my head and reminds me that every day. I am so miserable and I have to leave, but how?" (Related: How to leave an abusive relationship)

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such pain. Here are a few options to explore:

1. Ask a friend to help you move out and take you in for a couple of months as you try to build your life again.
2. No matter how you do it, try to cut down your expenses and definitely save some money each month - take another job if you can. Try to become independent as soon as possible and then leave this man. (Related: Tips for abused women)
   
3. If none of this is possible, just look into your phone book under women's shelters and give them a call. There are many organizations that support women like you - they maybe able to provide housing for you for a while as you try to become independent.