How to make sure that my boyfriend is serious about me?

Carol writes, "I have a friend who is currently in military and will be back after a one-year mission. While I had a very brief relationship with him before he left, I really like this guy. He drives me crazy. I have strong feeling for him. We talk on e-mail every other day and it seems like all he talks is about sex! I send racy pictures of me every other month and I try to keep him thinking about me. I don't know how he feels about me. I'm 22 and he is 29. How can I know if he is genuinely interested in me? I have a feeling he may be talking to other girls by e-mail as well. How can keep this guy forever?"

Being overseas in the war zone is not fun at all and sex is like an escape for him. However, I am quite concerned about his narrow focus on sex alone. I know that without sex a relationship does not last too long, but there needs to be a lot more than sex to keep a relationship together.

My suggestion for you would be to gradually make the conversation non-sexual and stop sending him your sexy photos. You don't have to say anything but just find some excuse if he asks. In your emails or chats, try to talk about your future together as a couple, talk about marriage, and starting a family.

If he shows his reluctance to talk anything else and wants to steer the conversation to sex and gets upset that you are not sending him naughty photos, I think it is a strong sign that his interest in you is purely carnal and he thinks of you as nothing but a sexy woman to have a good time with. If that is all you want too, then it is fine, but if you are thinking of a serious relationship (and not just a great sexual partner) he may not be the man for you.