Jake writes, "I have recently been seeing this woman that is eleven years older than me, and we are both very much into each other. The only problem is that she is having issues with the fact that I am so much younger. I am so crazy about this woman and I want to be able to make this work for the two of us. She says that if I was only a few years older she wouldn't hesitate. So what I want to know is how do I make her more comfortable with the fact that I am so much younger, and make her realize how age doesn't matter when you have the connection we have?"

I think she is simply choosing to look at the more traditional age patterns to come up with her rationale for ending this relationship. So first thing that you want to make sure is that there are no other reasons that she would want to breakup and is merely using the age difference as an excuse.

Now also remember that most people have a right to end a relationship whenever they wish but I don't approve of it in cases where people already have inbuilt biases like "I will not date a younger man." I mean why would she date you then in the first place?

Still, there is hope. I have never lost faith in the power of persuasion when it comes to women. I am sure you had to do some of it all along and if you continue with it with this issue, trust me, chances are that she will realize what a small detail it is in the big scheme of things when you are really a perfect couple otherwise.

Natalie writes, "I am almost 31 and I like a guy who is 21. I worry if he is too young for me and if this kind of relationship is too strange or impossible. I don't know if will be a long lasting relationship, but I like him and I feel strong connection and good feelings near him. Should I date this man?"

Well, your situation does not surprise me at all because I have been hearing from women who are dating guys that are half their age. Yes, sometimes 25-30 years younger. So your situation is very normal these days. Maybe some people will make a face but that's about it.

So don't dwell on this too long; if you like him go for it and see what happens.

It is not just the celebrities that are assuming the role of cougars. Ordinary women that you see every day are finding love with younger men.

Kathleen, a 44-year old and a mother of a teenage son, too has fallen in love with a man who is just 24. "I met him a year ago. I thought he was so handsome and there seemed to be something special about him, but I didn't think he would want to date someone my age. We talked on the phone for a year and really developed a mental bond. He is intelligent, has good morals and values, is spiritual, and has everything that a woman could dream of. I didn't intend to fall in love with him but I have and I think the age difference is an issue. I tried not to think that at first, but after talking to him, he wants kids and I think he is a bit apprehensive about what his family will think. He has never brought up taking me around any of his friends or family which makes me feel like I am some kinda secret. Although he has indicated to me he "told" his family about me. My family would accept him if I'm happy with him. I am at a crossroads now. I love him but I am seeing some maturity issues, rather lack thereof, and I'm wondering if I should jump ship now before I get hurt. I know this guy cares for me, he tells me he loves me, and our lovemaking is phenomenal. I seem to attract younger men because I look 35, not 45, and I have a young spirit. I don't want to let him go, but I don't know if I should move forward either. Please help."

I advise a lot of women and couples in similar situations and it is important to understand that it is nothing unusual and most couples do just fine despite the age gap.

Now in your specific case, remember that at your age, it is not easy to get pregnant and have a healthy child, unless you choose donor eggs. There is a very low probability of getting pregnant naturally and still have a healthy baby but you both need to understand that the possibility is less than 5%.

I am also a little concerned that he has not bothered to declare what he has been up to. As you suspect, maybe you are just his secret relationship, and I wouldn't be surprised if he has simply told his family that he is dating someone rather than giving them all the details like your age and the fact that you are a mom to a teenager.

I do not think you should breakup right now. Give him a chance to take things to the next level. Like introductions to friends and family and discuss what is next for you both. It is also important to think about out what is it that you want from him and this relationship. A boy toy for a while or someone you want to marry? If you and him do not share the same future for the relationship, then it is best to end it sooner rather than later.

Angela, a 50 year old woman is dating a 34-year old man for over three years. "Recently he started drinking heavily as he always had, then he started staying out late, then he met a woman and started talking to her via phone. He promised me he wouldn't talk to her anymore, because he didn't want to jeopardize our relationship. Now he tell me he needs time away to think things out. What is happening to my boyfriend? He says he loves me. Please advise," she writes.

First of all, as I read your story, I think it has nothing to do with an older woman dating a younger man. It is just yet another couple having a problem in their relationship.

When a relationship becomes serious and reaches a point where a man or a woman has to make that decision about its long-term future, a lot of people have serious doubts about it. The high rate of divorce has definitely put many men (and women) on alert about marriage and that too with a woman who is incapable of becoming pregnant (indeed, he should have thought of this before starting to date you, but not everyone gets everything right and many men do not realize that a relationship with a mature woman will actually last 3 years).

Men also become more critical about relationships, look at all the things that are not perfect about it, and then try to find ways to escape. I think your boyfriend is at that stage. He probably would be at the same stage even if you were 34 or younger.

My advice to you would be to give him the time that he needs to think things out. Agree on a time frame, say 30 days, so that you don't keep waiting forever while he is still dealing with his issues. If a person cannot decide things like this in a reasonable period of time, this person is not reasonable any way. During this time, be there for him but assure him that you are not some desperate woman who needs him even if he doesn't. Be confident and proud of who you are but also show him that you love him too, appreciate the relationship, and would want it to work out.

Remember the guy who is in love with his mature boss? Well, I heard from yet another man who is deeply in love with a mature mother but she is afraid that he wouldn't last.

"I am 20, and she is 36 with 2 kids. I am in college and she has her own house and her own business (she teaches pilates), she is recently divorced, we met maybe 6 months ago, and we were doing great. To be honest, at first all I wanted was the sex but in all fairness, she was after the same thing. We ended up falling in love. I love her very much and we had a few things come out of the closet (my past) but i think we have gotten through everything fine. Since we started getting rather serious, she has been putting space between us though. I feel it’s because she feels she is too old for me and she doesn't want me to miss out on some other great relationship with a younger girl. And I think this is because she thinks I might leave her for a younger girl later in our relationship. I have told her she doesn't have to worry about this at all. But apparently the pressure from her friends and her thinking about her kids' reaction to us dating is kinda pushing her away from me. What she doesn't know is that she is the most amazing person I have ever met. She is the only person I have ever been with, that I could truly act like myself. I feel free! I am a rather attractive guy, and I look about 26. A lot of people think there is no way she could be older than 29. When I saw her with kids I found it hard to believe they were hers. I recently helped her find a new car and nearly every salesperson thought we were married. If we go anywhere people think we are married. I've had people tell me "my son said ...." and they aren't even my boys. It really makes me happy that we look so happy together. I actually really like her boys; one of them is just so adorable and the other is a sweetheart. The oldest one is 9 and he is kinda shy. But I think in time he may open up a little. And I'm sure we'll get along great. The other is 5. He is so sweet and cute! I connect with him really well. I dunno, I feel happier with her than I've ever been. but I think our relationship might fall apart because of our age difference. I just don't know what to do. I feel like we're perfect together, and I know she loves me, but will that be enough? Is there anyway I can show her that it doesn't matter how old she is and that I love her for her and everything that comes with her. And I won't leave her as long as she keeps loving me. I have always wanted to be the one who takes care of everything, but since my relationship with her, my whole perspective on that has changed. I feel if we do work out, then later on when she wants to quit working, I'll be making more than enough money to support her easily, because right now, she'll be taking care of me, but eventually she won't be able to do that anymore. And men always die younger, so I think it's perfect. Why doesn't she see it this way?" he wonders.

I hear from dozens of men and women like you every month. Mature women often are way too conscious about their age and completely refuse to believe that a normal young man may actually want to marry them, "adopt" their kids, and never abandon them for a younger woman (to women who raise this issue with me, I tell them that there is no guarantee that a man their age or older than them would not do that -- they have no answer to that since we have decades of data to show that older man almost always picked a younger woman when they left their wives).

It appears that you have some work to do in convincing her that your love for her and the kids is genuine. That another man may leave her too for whatever reason and your age should not be held against you. That Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are doing a great job as a couple and as parents. That friends who do not like the idea are just stuck in the old way of thinking. That she should not deny her and you the pleasure of a beautiful relationship.

How to date a sugar mama?

You know the term "sugar daddy." He is a wealthy, older man who uses his money to hang out (or even marry) drop dead gorgeous, but younger girls.

Do you know the term "cougar?" She is an older woman who dates younger guys. She may or may not be rich.

So combine a sugar daddy with a cougar and you get a sugar mama. She is basically looking for her boy toy either because men her age are already married or are divorced with children with all kinds of issues that they have paying for child support and the mid life crisis that often turns them into cynics. These women want no drama, just studs to have a good time.

So how can you get one of them?

I spoke to a few women like that and they all mentioned good physique as their #1 requirement. They also do not have much need for men in sneakers and baseball caps who look more like the men that deliver their laundry. They want men that literally step out of a GQ magazine. You don't need to have the money, but you better be interesting, have a sense of humor, and have no attitude.