Samuel writes, "Not so long ago I had a fantastic love affair with a girl twenty years my younger. But pressure from her peers spoiled everything and in the end destroyed our relationship. I would like once again to enter into a relationship with a younger woman in her thirties; I am fifty five! Is that way off the mark?"

Based on emails that I have been receiving, there are some girls that would be interested in you, considering that you appear to be financial stable. I don't think your age is way off the mark; I have been hearing from people who are dating men and women half their age. And you know it because you have traveled this road before. Obviously, you will find it harder than dating a woman your age, but I know that a woman at any age is definitely attracted to wealth, intellect, and power, and if you can giver her a hint of any or all of the above, she sure would like to enjoy it.

Samantha writes, "I am attracted to a man much older then me. He's very reserved and slightly reclusive. However, I would love to pursue him, but my twenty-something seduction tactics aren't working. What should I do?

Your problem is twofold. One is his being reserved and reclusive and that will make it harder for a woman even his age to break his shell.

Two, most older men assume that very young girls will never be interested in them. For instance, being in my 40s, I typically don't expect girls in their 20s to even pay attention to me, but I sure can figure out when a woman (regardless of her age) is really interested in me. At that point, I can ignore her if I do not think that I should be exploring a relationship with such a young woman. Or, if I think it is a nice thing to do, I will reciprocate.

In my opinion, it would be much safer for you to approach him non-romantically (e.g. could you work for him a few hours a week helping organize his papers?) and over time as you two spend some time together he might realize that you are not just an assistant. At that point, a romantic move will help. Yes, it is somewhat easy to seduce your boss.

Carlos writes, "Are there to your knowledge any reputable dating sites that would suit an older, serious, financially stable gentleman looking for a serious relationship with a younger woman? I have been looking around and most of them are quite frankly nothing more than places to hookup with whores in return for money! I am looking for a real relationship, possibly leading to marriage, because I simply find that I connect better with women somewhat younger than me."

I agree with you that these dating websites that seem to match older men with younger women are simply for prostitutes seeking desperate men.

Actually, I prefer that you try a conventional dating website that you like and just state in your preference that you are looking for a woman in her 30s. Do not be apologetic or offer explanations. If this is what you like and want, just say so.

I also like the old-fashioned techniques of meeting people. Yes, at parties and other events. Just pick your events where women in 30s are likely to be available. Join volunteer organizations or interest groups that attract younger women and you will be amazed how lucky you will get.

Lorenzo, a 52 year old man, who not too long ago had a relationship with a woman in her 30s, but they broke up. Now he wants to start dating again, preferably with a younger woman. He shares his thoughts:

"I guess at my age one is just a bit shy to start chatting with younger women. I had a very serious relationship with a younger woman but it was purely by accident; I didn't go searching for a younger woman, it just happened. But I have to say that I love the vitality that the younger woman brings with her. I am referring to ambitions and a positive spin on life. I myself have become rather cynical in the work that I do. So the younger woman is very refreshing. I shall take your advice and just take it easy and see what comes along instead of acting like a headless chicken."

Nate writes, "I'm a 58 year old man, many years younger looking and more fit than your average 29 year old. I am not in a committed relationship yet but one is hanging in the balance. The problem is that my 40 year old male room-mate has met a woman, 41, who is drop-dead gorgeous and who is moving into a room in my home. She is falling in love with me, and I with her. I have created a distinct distance from her, agreeing to be loving but not to the point of intimacy. He, BTW, is an 'unavailable' sort. They're getting along for the moment but I foresee that she's going to be with me. The age gap of 17 years is a concern. I am mature, loving, decent, wise, and caring. She is lovely, sweet, intelligent, successful at what she does, and as conflicted as I am. What to do?"

First of all, I hope you are prepared for the consequences of stealing the girlfriend of your roommate. You will just need to find another roommate unless he is cool with the idea.

Two mature people can have a great relationship even with significant age gap

Regarding your falling for her, well, as you probably read on my blog, the number of such relationships is rapidly growing (and is not a concern considering that you look young and relationships like that have been there forever; the groundbreaking relationships these days are the ones when women at your age date younger men).

Now I would have also objected to the relationship, if say, you were 37 and she was 20. Yes, the age difference is the same, but at 37, a person is fully mature and has gone through a lot but at 20, almost everyone is pretty clueless. At the age of 41, this woman knows what she is doing, she has experienced life, heartbreak, love, and pain. Maybe she is not as wise as you, but she is no clueless teenager. So go ahead and give it a chance; you might turn out to be a great couple.

Stacy writes, "I am a 22 year old female who has been through enough to be in my 30's. In short, I dropped out of high school, got into drugs really bad, had a relationship with an older man (15 years older), stayed with him for 4 years bouncing on and off drugs until I got pregnant. We had a beautiful son, split up because as a sober couple, we weren't the same people. I moved back towards my family and have built quite the beautiful life for myself. Things were really rough for me a few months back - because of the split, parenting plan with my son's father, unemployed and alone, so I decided to reach out in a way that I never have before. I got onto Craig's List and put an ad in stating that I needed a live-in house-keeper/caregiver situation, whatever the case, for a place to live. I got a response back not 12 hours later and it was a 64 year old man who was lonely and needed someone to take care of the house. I was really hesitant to jump into the situation because of my son but I took the risk and it couldn't have turned out better. I fell in love with my boss and he with me -- despite our age difference. Everything between us is simple and easy. He makes me happy and I do the same. I have never been loved 'right' before and I haven't been this happy in a long time. But I want to make sure that I am making him happy. He says I am but I want to make sure because he takes such good care of me and my son that I don't want him to feel like he is not appreciated. How do I do that and ensure that our relationship stays as solid as it is now? It means too much to me to lose."

Future of relationship with an older man

Wow, this is such a beautiful story and it made my day. When I get such happy stories to read, I love my job.

I am glad that you are happy and so is your boyfriend. Looks as if you are doing everything right because things seem to be going well.

I also admire your decision to be proactive and trying to do your best. Generally I like to believe that if there is something that he needs or realizes that you are not doing it, he will ask you. But not all men are very communicative, it does not hurt to ask. No one can tell you what he wants than him and the best thing is to do is just ask directly. Trust me, it works.

A man at any age has very simple needs but sex is a big part of it. I have never met a man who was not happy if he was getting sex the way he liked it. May sound a little shallow to some women, but women who appreciate this often have the most satisfying and happy relationships.

You also need to start thinking about making the relationship somewhat more legal. Remember that if you do not get married, you may not inherit anything if something were to happen to him. And considering your situation that can be a huge problem. I say this because while you are with this man, you are missing out on opportunities to meet and marry another man with whom you can spend your life with. So hopefully you are already thinking along these lines; if not, it is a good idea to do so in the coming months. I can understand how blessed you feel to have a stable relationship and some peace in your life after all that you have gone through, but also consider your long-term future. I am sure that if he loves you the way you do, he will also be pleased with this approach.

Nicole writes, "I am 47 and attracted to a 78 yer old man; we both know there is chemistry between us -- the long lingering looks between each other. He has taken me for a coffee twice and when he has said that I must know he likes me. The way he kisses me and holds my hand I know in my heart that he needs me like I need him. I am waiting patiently for him to carry it through. Please could you tell me that this relationship with the age difference could ever work? If it ever came round to sex please could you give me some ideas on what to expect."

I am a strong believer, and I have heard from thousands of couples like you in relationships with huge age difference, that a couple can have a great relationship regardless of the age gap.

Having said that, I hope you also understand that it is one thing for a 20 year old woman to date a 50 year old man but an altogether different matter when the ages are like yours. Based on typical life expectancy in the developed world, he is already past it. In other words, his health may fail and you will be taking a lot of care of him. On the other hand, you are still very young. And yes, Viagra can perform magic on very old men, but do not be surprised if he cannot perform in bed, or at least is unable to satisfy a woman this young.

What I am trying to tell you is that you both can have an excellent relationship and you should go for it as long as you understand that sex, if possible, will not be great, and the relationship may not last for a very long time.

Jennifer writes to me, "I am a 27 year old female who is married to a 62 year old man. We have one child who is five years old. The marriage has its ups and downs just like any other relationship. We are not perfect, however, we are happier than most couples that we know. We have been married for about six years, and I hope and pray that I have twenty more years with my husband. We get along great and our child is very energetic and outgoing. She is very talkative and there are many times when people will tell my husband what a cute granddaughter he has. He smiles and politely corrects them, letting them know that he is her daddy not her grandpa. I also feel that older men are much better lovers. They are not selfish and are very patient."

If you are contemplating such a relationship with a huge age gap, go right ahead and enjoy it.

If you are in a relationship with a wide age difference, I would like to hear from you. Or you can simply comment on this page.

Anne writes, "He is 55, I am 22. I can't tell if I love him the person, or I love him because he is a multimillionaire. I don't think it's because of his money,but I am so clear if he has no money, I won't him. I guess,it's kinda because I think he is smart, and smart guy should be rich. Is that enough to make me fall in love with a man older than me by 30 years? I feel lost. Maybe I am just that kind of girl that loves old guys. It's weird."

You are not alone in thinking that. Women are almost always attracted to power and money, which in most cases, as you said, comes from intellect, knowledge, and being smart. Such men are also kind and respect women, but what you have to ask yourself is what is the future of this relationship. Do you simply want to have a good time with him for as long as possible or do you think that you want to marry him some day and live happily ever after? You may have to do some more research to find out what he is looking for. Are you simply a toy for this man or is he in love with you and wants to marry you?

There is another possibility that you have talked about: women who like fatherly figures. Yes, a group of women love and even marry men that remind them of their dads.

In each case, there is nothing wrong with having this relationship; you just have to ask what is it that you want and if you can get it with this man.

While I enjoy receiving emails from everyone (you don't need a reason to write to me; it is always nice to hear from you even if you just want to say hello), but it is awesome when I get emails from people in happy relationships.

Carla, a 40-year old woman writes, "I am dating a 56 year old man whom I love with all my heart. When I met him at a work party, I never anticipated we would date, but I am very glad we did. Since we are both older, I think our respective ages are less problematic than they could be if either of us had less life experience under our belts. The chivalry and respect and the desire for open and honest communication you get from an older man make the relationship so rewarding and enriching. The one hurdle we face is his perception that he is a 'dirty old man' because he is dating someone 16 years his junior, and my frustration that he sometimes thinks this way! On the whole we make a good team and complement each others strengths and weaknesses and all I can say is that age, for us, is just a number. I have waited half a lifetime to meet him and now I have found the perfect man for me. I want to spend the remainder of my lifetime with him."

Robert, a man in his mid-50s interested in dating a younger girl. He asks, "What are some good dating websites for young women looking for older men?"

I don't like to personally recommend any website because I have not had the chance to try it myself (I am a happily married to a woman slightly older to me; thank you very much) but what I tell people is that they can use any good dating website and indicate what they are looking for in their personal ad. You can also do a Google search (for terms like Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mama or cougar dating or mature dating) and find some so-called specialty websites but I am skeptical of them because they do not have enough members or often have girls who just want your money. Many of them are actually escorts or prostitutes or want to become a mistress rather that real girls looking for a solid relationship.

Of course, I also like you to join to the completely free dating website that I am building.

While many older women now date younger men and it does not raise many eyebrows these days, men have traditionally married women their age or younger than them. Some of it had to do with the fact that men are fertile much longer while women find it hard to be pregnant as they get older and it is nearly impossible for them to have a healthy child in their 40s. Here is more information on the reasons why men choose younger women.

I hear about relationships with big age gaps almost every day but there are times that some age gaps are bigger than what we are used to. Jim is 45 and is ready to marry an 18-year old. "It happened by our luck only. I was not looking for a relationship like this but we both love each other now. Am I wrong? Please tell me," he asks.

Indeed, there is no numbers counting when you fall in love. Since the two of you are both in love, get rid of any doubts you have. This is not the time to think since age is just a number. Indeed, you may have some problems in the marriage because of the age gap but I hear from couples every day who have problems - they also happen to be in the same age bracket. In fact, perfectly normal couples in every respect keep getting divorced or breaking up. This is simply a myth that people with wide age gap have any more problems than couples in the same age group. Of course you will need to make adjustments (the music that you like may not be the same as she does, for example) and so will she, but that is advice couples of all ages need. A relationship is about acceptance and compromises and as long as you do that you can have a beautiful relationship.

We at LuvCube publish selected stories about love and relationships. Here is a beautiful and inspirational story of Ingrid.

"I was always attracted to older men. It's not just physical attraction; I was always more mature than my age and couldn't see myself with younger guys.

I often wonder what exactly is considered a large age gap? 5 years? 10 years? 35 years? I'm not sure if anyone can explain where the designation would start. People who are on the same spiritual and intellectual levels don't have to be the same age to have a meaningful relationship. I don't think age is as important as maturity and compatibility. Love is love. When you are in love, what can you do? Love has no age. Age is an issue only when you want it to be an issue.

I am now in a relationship with a man 25 years older (I am 25) and I couldn't be happier. It’s an interesting experience in some ways because of the challenges it brings. I also believe that opposites do attract, sometimes. We have a wonderful relationship and a passion for each other. We both love each other. We rarely fight, and just because we try to resolve our problems, we both know how to find a compromise. I can share ups and downs of life with him, we both have a good sense of humor, we mutually respect each other, we have a lot of good/bad times, but we learn from and grow stronger every time. We have differences in many things but it also gives us the chance to share each others interests along with the interests we have together. Everybody has experiences - some good, some bad.

Relationships with age gaps are not for everyone, but if you think you can manage it, then why not? I think our life together is fantastic, despite our little problems and I can tell that I 'm a woman who intends to spend all my life with him. But sometimes he feels insecure (How to deal with insecure men?) that in the future, I will be unhappy and regret the decision to be with him and he doesn't want to have to go through that. We're both truly in love right now and I can't think about anybody or anything else rather than making a life with him.

Everybody irrespective of their age is able to fall in love and be loved. There is no reason why this feeling should not make them happy. The relationship can survive when you look over the age difference and see each other as two loving people with pounding hearts and romantic feelings. We've been together for almost 2 years and I am still madly in love with him."

I wanted to share a story from one of our readers. She is just 20 years old and is dating a 43-year old man.

"We met through friends when I was 17. Everything was great for the first six months; in fact he chased me for three months and one day I felt completly head-over-heels in love! Then he started to change. He split up with me and slept with any woman he could find as well as me. He is my first ever love and boyfriend and however nasty he was to me, I held on! He would always tell me to move on and when I began to do so, he would beg me to come back! I will never give up on him because I know how hurt he was in his mariage and there is a beautiful man inside when he shows it! It has been nearly three years now and still it is the same situation - he loves me for a few weeks and then he doesn't even want to know where am I! I am unsure if this is because of his past and his scars, but I will always love hin and I am not quite ready to give up yet although I am starting to struggle to show him what he has and what he will lose. I don't want to give all my love to him and end up being so hurt that I will not love again! There's just something so special about him that I can't give up! I just want to be loved back and made to feel the way I try to make him feel every day! We are the best of friends and so similar! I love the fact that he is wise and can teach me things! There is no issue over the age gap. I believe that it adds to our relationship, but maybe if I were able to have met him 20 years ago, he might not have had so many issues and he would be more willing to give this relationship a real chance! I don't want children and he has already done that. I also don't want marriage - all I want is me and him and commitment! I believe we are more perfect because of our age difference because we are on the same path but at different stages of our lives! I know he wants to be loved and after all we have been through a lot. If we are still together, there must be some fate in that! I am just going to hold on and believe that one day he will realize what he has and I will be cherished at last!"

What do you think?

Is she delusional? Is this man abusing a young woman? Should she end the relationship and move on? Or will the man see her unconditional love and give her what she deserves? Has something like this happened to you before? What did you do? How did things turn out for you? Please let me know. If you have a blog, you can blog about it or you can simply share your thoughts here (no email address is needed).

When a woman likes only younger men

Angie, a 33-year old mother of four, is dating a 21-year old man for about two years. "I have always been attracted to younger men. My current boyfriend is very compassionate, thoughtful, financially supportative, and he always goes the extra mile to prove that he is really into me. I guess I am in such denial. My girlfriend always puta it as I am too desperate. Is this really being desperate, if the man comes on to me. I have always asked him, Why doesn't he find someone his own age. His answer is always the same, "They are all full of games." I guess to sum it all up, I am very much scared that eventually, he may leave for someone his own age. Do you think, a woman of my age can really live life fully with a 21 year old man?" she asks.

Your girlfriend is so wrong. Sometimes things just happen and age ceases to be an issue. That is what happened to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and at least for now, they seem to have the perfect relationship.

I think what this young man sees in a mature woman like you is stability, maturity, and as someone with no time for BS. As you can imagine, many 21-year old women are more interested in casual relationships and that always creates a lot of drama - many men find that exhausting.

Based on dozens of emails I get each week from women like you, I see no reason why you guys couldn't have a great relationship, even marriage. Of course, he will not have the maturity of a 33-year old but that is where you come in. In that sense, you will complement each other, if you value his youth and he appreciates your wisdom.

I also don't buy the argument that when you are "old" he will leave you. Is there a guarantee that a man of your age won't leave you when you are "old?" No one has seen the future and we can't live our lives today based on what could go wrong in the future.

So in my opinion, enjoy the beautiful relationship and just don't pay attention to the age. Maybe it is a cliche, but the reality is that age is just a number.