Communication among couples

Lost in Translation
Communication problems between couples

Image of a couple relaxing on a hammock and communicating The movie “Lost In Translation” illustrates how we can get “separated” from our partners without never “departing” from each other. Communication problems are probably one of the most damaging problems that a relationship can face. Open communication sounds good, but in reality it is very difficult. The reason for this is that we do not want to be open, especially in the beginning of a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously, many people think that if we are real, other people are not going to like us. (Related article: Romantic communication with your partner)

In the book “Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them,” the author, John Ortberg, points out some of the problems that we face and the price we pay for wearing a mask. The book is based largely on Christian philosophy, but it has a lot of good advice that can help all couples to deal with some communication issues and misconceptions that lead us trying to hide our real personality. Melina Kanakaredes attributes her great marriage to good communication. "You have to keep talking," she says.

How to deal with confrontation: We cannot escape confrontation, relationships are not perfect, and we must talk and solve our issues. Unresolved issues are potential time bombs in relationships. (Related article: Communication in marriage)

Photo of a couple hugging on the street. How to negotiate: We all like to say that “Timing is everything,” but we do not practice it. We should air our problems, but we have to look for good timing to approach the other person and start a discussion if we want to solve them - and always watch out for the body language. If we only want to fight, any time is good. If we want to make things better, then, the timing and the words have to be carefully chosen. Communication among couples starts with understanding each other’s sensitivities. (Related article: Positive communication with your spouse)

Do not put people in molds: We tend to judge people, including our partners, based on pre-conceived ideas. This is really unfair because if someone is of Asian origin, this does not mean he only eats noodles. There is no such a thing as a man’s way of thinking or a woman’s way of thinking. Every one is different and unique. Do not think that, because your partner is of a certain age, ethnic group or family background, he or she should fit your mold. We have to get to know people as individuals and accept them as they are.

If you are in an early stage in your relationship, perhaps, you want to show your true colors and not try to impress your partner by not showing the real you. This way you will know if you truly like each other or not. The same way give your partner a chance to be true as well, listen, and try to get to know her/him. A strong foundation is important so that a couple can communicate effectively. (Related article: Ingredients of a happy relationship)

It is difficult to show who we really are if we do not know it ourselves. This is the reason we wear masks that we do not even know about it. This is the reason why we have to be happy with ourselves in order to make a good couple. Take the time to get to know yourself and embrace and love who you are. This is a long journey and you do not have to complete it before you improve communication with your partner, but if you follow the simple tips of communicating as a couple, you will become a better communicator and a better lover. (Related article: What do men want from a woman?)

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