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Let
us briefly analyze why
shopping for
gifts (particularly around the holiday
season) is such a tough experience. In my opinion,
there are two main reasons:
-
We live in a
land of plenty. Almost
everyone that we
send gifts to
seems to have it all and a gift
makes such a small difference in
their lives (Pajamagram).
-
The whole
exercise of gifts has become too
commercial and has taken the fun
out of the process. The days
when one could just bake a pie at
home and bring it as a gift is
over.
This
is also the reason that giving a gift
to your spouse is so hard. Since
you both have the same quality of
life, what can you give to your
partner then? He or she is fully
capable of buying that item himself/herself. While I appreciate the
gift (Vacation
gift cards) approach taken by Oprah, only she
could do that. When she gave
away cars to those people who just
couldn't afford to buy new cars or
when she literally spoiled a group of
teachers during the holiday season of
2004, her gifts made a big difference
in their lives. But you can
create the same effect without having
the financial means of Oprah.
Three
questions to ask before deciding on a
gift for your spouse
- What will s/he
never buy on her/his own?
It is not always something
expensive. It could be
something as simple as a
facial
or a massage. So if you
give a
spa gift certificate you
are sending a message that you
care. (Related
article: A
day of spa treatments at home)
- What gives
her/him joy? For instance,
a day in New York City gives my
wife more joy than a $500
dress. If you don't know
what it is, try to find out by
asking probing questions.
- Is there a
certain message that you want to
convey to your partner without
making her/him feel bad about
it? For instance, once my
wife gave me a gift of
swimming
lessons. She knew that it
would be
good for my health,
improve my fitness level, and
enable me to overcome my fear of
water. (Related:
Favorite picture printed on
chocolate)
Once
you have answers to these questions,
then make up your mind by picking what
will be the most appropriate
product/service, rather than the
price. For instance, the
swimming lessons cost less than $100
(much less than what we typically
spend on gifts for each other) since
they were in the local high school,
but it was such a beautiful gift. |
