How to perform better in bed?
Couples have to support each other

One of the obsession that men have is their performance in bed. Despite this, women continue to complain that all men care about is their satisfaction and once that goal is accomplished they do not care about her needs.  (Related article:  How to last longer in bed?)

The reality is somewhere in between. At a panel discussion that I organized with a group of people, Yani put it very nicely. She says, "Tony is not perfect, nor is he Superman! He does get annoyed with me at times when I want it at the wrong time. And I do get irritated when he declines. I also get frustrated when our timing does not work out well. While he does not tire easily as he is in good physical shape, we don't always get it right. He is VERY considerate and patient with me. I have also learned to adapt to his rhythms, so to speak, but when he performs, we are in heaven. He is a good lover and a wonderful person. So, as I said, he is a man with imperfections but he does his best to please."  (Related article:  How to spice it up in the bedroom?)

Indeed, thanks to such a balanced perspective from some women, that it is possible for couples to have a great personal relationship. Because men have their imperfections too, women need to appreciate that. As long as women understand that men are not really Supermen, they can have a great time and never get frustrated. Plus, frustrating as it is, men have physical limitations too. After a couple of times, both the body and the mind just don't want any more, but the desire does come back in a reasonable period of time. So ladies, keep an open mind and collaborate with the man and you will have all the fun that you can handle."  (Related article:  How to make sure that a woman can climax)

Perla agrees. "I know my husband's limitations and his occasional indifferences to my needs in bed. We are sensual, you men are visual. Like Yani, I am still learning still his rhythms and sometime I do take advantage of him which I admit can be quite demanding. I love him for many good reasons and that is why his performance in bed is one part of the overall relationship. And yes, he needs time to "re-charge" as all men do and rather than getting frustrated, I have learned to treat that break as a special moment for us. So we always keep some wine and small nibbles handy in the bedroom."  (Related article:  Bedroom for couples)

Tips for couples

• Appreciate each other's limitations. Rather than criticizing the deficiencies, learn to deal with them.  (Related article:  Hymen repair surgery)

• Communicate your needs. As both Yani and Perla say, men and women do not always have same needs and that is why unless you guide your partner, s/he will not know what to do.  (Related:  First time sex)

• Finally, make the best of what you have. If all you do is complain of what is not good, your relationship will be miserable.  Alternatively, if there is a problem, fix it together.

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