Why did my husband cheat?

I realize that I do not give him what he needs

Joyce writes, "My husband cheated on me a year ago and I can't get over it. I'm not even sure if I am satisfying him; he says I am. I am driving myself crazy thinking that he may be thinking about her lover and fantasizing about sex with her when he is making love to me. He use to say I wasn't exciting or spontaneous. This girl would do my husband anywhere and any place, he said. I am not so willing to do it anywhere. What do I do?"

As you probably understand, sex is very important in any marriage -- and while some men will live a life full of regrets due to lack of sex -- most men will figure out a way to satisfy their sexual desires somehow. That is exactly what your husband did by having sex with a woman who was willing to give him what his wife was not.

Based on what you say, it appears that he is not having sex with her any longer and you should stop thinking about that incident and that woman. You cannot do anything to stop a man from thinking about whatever, the way he cannot stop you from thinking whatever you wish. Maybe he was thinking about sex with Megan Fox even when he had not cheated on you. It is a waste of time to worry what your husband thinks because you can do nothing to control it.

My advice to you would be to open your mind and enjoy sex with him the way both of you want because there are always differences in libidos and preferences in what a man and a woman like in bed. You don't have to do something if you are really opposed to it or dislike it but you have to at least try once. Or at least come to some kind of a compromise. As a couple, it is important that both of you are sexually satisfied, and if not, it is easy to understand why the dissatisfied partner maybe tempted to find sex elsewhere. You can also ask for help from a marriage therapist so that you two can have a grownup conversation.