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Let us say, for example, that some people have a stereotype that people who order less expensive dishes also tend to tip less. There is no correlation whatsoever but it is a common stereotype among wait
staff. (Related:
Eva Longoria Tony Parker breakup) But when I worked at restaurants during my college days, I always got tipped well regardless of what these people ordered. So I did not agree with this stereotype but I developed another one of mine - people who drink wine are great tippers. So the point is that while we may sometimes rely on stereotypes developed by others, we often develop our own based on our experiences.
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Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri)
Is it possible to completely eliminate stereotypes?
Probably not. It is unrealistic. But what is realistic, though, is to give a chance to others to prove you wrong. For instance, there are innumerable stereotypes of African-Americans, particularly men. Over time, things have changed and I have great African-American friends. I have
dated
African American women that were just as good as anyone else. I often hang out with
African- American friends and my lifelong mentor is an African-American gentleman who works for a
prestigious accounting firm.
 In this context, Tony's email to me was very
interesting (Tony is a successful
black, single professional). He writes, "I am attracted to many different kinds of women, but when it has come to
dating Asian
women, there seems to be somewhat of a barrier, and it is a very
interesting, but unfortunate situation. I have known several Asian people and based on my experience and those of my friends, there is a tremendous amount of negative images of African-American people, especially men. As an African American
male, I can relate to the frustration of mostly undeserved stereotypes. In America, there are stereotypes of practically every
ethnicity, including Asians.
To
Asian women, my question is What if we relied on your stereotype and not approached you? Many Black men hold
prestigious positions: Doctors,
Lawyers, Accountants, owners and CEO's of billion-dollar companies. So the next time a
black man approaches
you, think twice before you ignore him, or turn him away. Try to realize that he's just another
man, and that there are two sides to every
story, or STEREOTYPE, in this case." Tony is so right. Yes, it may be unrealistic to expect that we will be totally unbiased and fair all the time, but it is not too much to ask to give each person a chance. I also had cases of diners who ordered the most expensive wines but still didn't tip me well, but to me each customer was one of a kind. That way it was always a delight to start with a clean sheet of paper.
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