Break free from a bad relationship

How to break free from a dead end relationship?
Particularly if you are stuck with a commitment phobic man

You will be amazed to read stories of women who willingly allow themselves to be abused by men. Sometimes they think that it is love, at other times they think that if they simply took some BS from a man, his heart will melt and it will be wonderful thereafter.

In the worst case, some women just hope that some magic will happen and it will all be fine again. While all of these things do happen from time to time, at some point you just have to stop the BS and put an end to the misery. No one knows what happened, but Travis Stork and Sarah Stone ended their relationship when it did not work out.

Janet writes, “I have been dating my boyfriend for 12 years. He has proposed to me twice but has not set a date. We have 3 kids and we live together (we met in junior high). We have had a lot of ups and downs. My friends are also telling me things about him possible cheating on me. I think he is also not taking complete responsibility of being in a committed relationship. He acts as if he doesn't know what is allowed and what is not. So I am the one to constantly tell him that it is not right what I am going through. I am so frustrated because I don't put up or take any mess from anybody but I always seem to let him get away with the drama he dishes out. I love him but I am tired of him at the same time. My mind says to let him go but my heart continues to hold on to him because I feel we can make it work. I know you may think I should make up my mind but honestly, I don't know what I should do. I don't want my kids to hate me and I don't want him to continue to think that I am always going to be there so he can do whatever he wants. Do you have any suggestions? I am a believer in the Lord but I don't think he is hearing me. I need help!”

What I hear in your voice is a desire to break free and move on away from a commitment-phobic man. I think you have had enough of his garbage and there is no reason why you should take it any more. If you could love this man you can love another man too. He does not appreciate what you give him and that means he never will. And because he knows that you are not going away, he abuses you by cheating and by doing what he wants to do.
Please stand up for yourself. Tell him to get lost. It is time that you took control of your own life. I definitely see signs of low self-esteem but that is not a major illness. With a little bit of effort you can build your self-esteem and confidence to face the challenges of ending a 12-year old relationship.
The other thing to remember is that there is always a possibility that people will change or some good fortune will make things turn around but you have waited 12 long years and nothing has changed. It is high time that you became pragmatic and took control of your life.

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