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Let us take a look at
Sheila's case who has dated younger men for
basically all her life. She says, "It never really concerned me. An 8-10 year age difference
- I didn't see it as much of a difference. My last
boyfriend was 17 years younger and I didn't see how it could last, but he looked older, I looked younger and I thought we had a chance after a little coercion on his part. After several years we didn't make it. Mostly his family and some friends kept bothering him and talking against it. I had been honest with him about my age and kids from the start. Recently I met someone 22 years
old; I am 43. He guesses my age at 33. My oldest son is 20, so I just don't know if I can do this. The problem is that this young guy is everything I ever wanted in a man, and if he was 31 or 41, I would think that it could last forever
(Couple
with 41 year age gap). I don't know where to start I haven't told him anything about me, only assured him that he's too young for anything serious. Mostly I try to stay away from him. How young is too young? When do I just go to the psychologist and admit I have a problem, and try to smile at all the older men I'm not attracted to? Sometimes I feel like my life is over. It doesn't matter if you're in shape, or how pretty; for women it's all about the numbers. People treat you a certain way and you can really enjoy all that life has to offer until you say the number. And then suddenly their entire perception shifts. Not boyfriends, but mostly other women. The question is how would I feel if my son wanted
to be with an older
woman? Great, if she loved him, was not possessive, not trying to rope him into marriage and kids after the first month of dating, like so many young woman out there."
(Related article: Hooking
up with an old flame)
Indeed, we do have different standards for men and women when it comes to age and relationships. If Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes, it is just something that
happens all the time
in Hollywood and no one finds it scandalous or unacceptable. But when
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
marry each other, all hell breaks loose. Everyone talks about it as if it something weird.
In addition to that, in societies all over the world, women are as much to blame as men when it comes to discriminating against women.
(Related article: Challenges
of dating a younger man)
 But
you know what; women like Sheila are
changing the rules. So you have to
ignore what people say and do what
works for you and what makes you
happy. (Related:
Older men with a younger girlfriend)
Gina is discovering
dating someone who is not her age but instead of being younger, is older
than her. She tells me, "This is the first time I have ever dated someone so much older than me. I am 25 and he is 14 years my senior. Yet he adores me, and I adore him. He cares about
pleasing me in every way and the conversations are completely engaging. We talk for hours every night. This is a relationship where he teaches me everything he knows and I keep him mentally stimulated.
It is so nice to be with someone where you feel more stable and secure, relationship-wise and
financially. I don't think I could ever date any one may age again."
(Related:
How to introduce a younger boyfriend)
Now that may be too extreme a statement to make since you never
know what life has in store for you, but as long as women keep their minds open, they can
make their relationships work with a man of any age as long as everything else is compatible. |
