How to pick a date?

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Make your dating choices carefully

You might have to spend the rest of your life with him

By Lisa Kramer

When selecting who should you date, it is important to focus on what is truly important to you. It is even better to write down, say, top 10 ten things that you seek in a partner. Remember that with our busy schedules, it is not worthwhile to date just for the heck of it. Let us explore this issue in a bit more depth so that you are effective in use of your time. (Related: Dating during holidays)

Margaret in Nashua, New Hampshire, writes, “I met a man in a bar. In the beginning he did not attract me, but I had not dated for a long time, and all my dates have always ended with the guy leaving me so when he showed some interest I immediately turned to him. I was happy to find someone mature (he is about ten years older than me) and I though he would be a great guy. After my first date I realized that he is a good guy, but a loser and a depressive person who never has done anything with his life. On one hand I like him, but on the other I cannot see myself long term with this guy. I am afraid to leave him because it is so difficult for me to meet people. He has shown some commitment, but he does not seem stable or looking for a committed relationship. He does not seem to know were he is in his life although he is probably in his late 30s. I am more educated than him and I think more stable. What should I do?” (Related article: Go slow in online dating)

We cannot tell you what to do, but if I were you I would run away from this guy without even looking back. There are two big reasons for it:

It seems that you have to do some work on yourself before you find a meaningful relationship (Revive relationship with an old flame). You seem insecure about yourself. Perhaps you have been dating the wrong guys and that is the reason they left you. Or perhaps you tend to have a little bit of co-dependency. It will be good for you to get to know yourself better and gain some confidence.

The guy you met selected you; you did not choose him. You are going out with him because in your head you do not have a choice. It seems that you prefer to go out with a loser, than be without a man. You are worthy and lovable. This is not the only man on the planet. There are millions of them; you just have to find one that is right for you. If this is not a man you can picture yourself with and you are not proud of him, you will do a favor to yourself and to him if you stop seeing him. (Related: Dating by married women)

So first get your act together and then get back into the dating game. Try online dating or some of the new dating services, such as speed dating. It does not seem that bars are working for you. You are young; you can choose and pick your guy, so be picky

Recommended links: Relationship success secrets Dating tips for teenagers

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How to approach a woman already in a relationship How to catch attention of man

Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky How to become a mistress

Approach a woman in a relationship Love, not age, matters in relationship

What do you think?