How to find a husband

How to find a husband?
Simple tips to find the man to spend your life with

Photo of a just married couple walking out of the church to the waiting limo. By Pierre Coda

I have actually received seven separate requests from women who want to know how to find a husband. And mind you these are not coming just from cultures where arranged marriages are the norm.

The women come from Karachi (Pakistan), Yokohama (Japan), Vienna (Austria), Barcelona (Spain), Flint, Michigan (USA), San Antonio, Texas (USA), and Portland, Maine (USA).

So what is the secret to finding a husband?

In my discussions with men, I often hear them complaining that they can't find a woman who would want to marry and settle down to have children and raise a family. So it is not true that men do not like to get married. In my opinion, what is happening is that we have become more picky now since technology allows us to search from a larger pool of candidates (so we keep looking for that perfect match, that truly doesn't exist) and two, despite the advances in technology, there is no perfect system yet that can bring two people on this planet who are made for each other. (Related article: Go slow in online dating)

Having said that, there are still ways in which women can find a man to marry. Based on my interviews with dozens of couples, I have found the following simple techniques work almost all the time:

Make it known to everyone that you are looking for a relationship that will lead to wedding bells. If you use an online dating website, clearly state this in your personal so that men who are not interested in a serious, marriage-minded woman can go elsewhere.
Be reasonable in your expectations. First of all, take a look at yourself objectively. If you are not the prettiest woman on the planet or do not have a lot of wealth or lack a great job, chances are that you will need to make compromises. Unfortunately, that is how life is. You can always make a list of what you are willing to compromise and what not. For instance, you can say that you are willing to marry a not-so-good-looking man if he has a good job and is otherwise a gentleman. Once you do this, your pool of available men will expand significantly.
When you start the relationship, think of it as the first step in a traditional marriage - that is getting to know each other. So stop behaving as you would on a casual date. That is why it is not a good idea to fool around. Take the time to really get to know each other so that you can make a honest assessment if this man is marriage-material or not. (Related article: How to catch attention of man)
Once you find a man who meets most (if not all) the attributes that you developed on your list, marry him (Love, not age, matters in relationship). The world is full of wonderful men (and there is that perfect man out there somewhere) but it is not possible to find him. Marriage is a lot of work even for those women who thought they found the perfect man. If you both are committed to making your marriage work, you will do just fine with this approach.

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