How to have a casual date?

How to meet a potential date?

Find dates casually

By Lorena Chinchilla

If you simply learn to make friends with complete strangers, learn to connect with people wherever you run into them, you will realize that your prospects of meeting people and finding a date go up tremendously. We tend to miss so many opportunities to meet a date because we have become so cold to strangers. (Related: Dating during holidays)

I remember a few years back I was to took a train form Venice to Florence. I was running late and I missed my Eurostar train and needed to take the next train, which was a local train, a few hours later. That train would take double the time and it was not as comfortable as the Eurostar train. The train was packed and our cabin was even more crowded. It was August in Italy: hot, humid and with no air-conditioning. Although I wanted to get out of my seat to use the restroom or just to walk on the platform when the train stopped, I realized it was not going to be empty when I would come back so I tortured myself to sweat for about 8 hours. (Related article: How to meet a date in a chat room?)

A beautiful Italian girl sitting next to me, to my surprise, started to talk with a stranger and they discussed about their lives, politics, and so on for hours. He was going to Naples, my girlfriend was going to Rome, while I was going to Florence. I was pleasantly surprised to notice how Italians can just talk to almost anyone and make friends with such ease.

I have been a frequent flyer in the USA; I have met tons of people in planes and in airports, and sometimes have sat next to them for hours. I have not even talked to most of them, what to say of making friends. I have talked to people sitting next to me on the plane, sometimes exchanged business cards, and on a few occasions, I have met someone memorable, but never have I made a “friend.” I hear stories of how people met a new client or a job candidate, but such stories are still rare. Maybe I am unfriendly, but it seems to happen to most people that I know. Why the Italians can do it and we cannot?

Perhaps it is a matter of attitude. Here in America, we are busy reading (or watching movies or sleeping), thinking of our own problems, confined to our own little existence; we do not care about others enough, we are not in the mood, or perhaps it is just our culture that we do not to make friends with total strangers. In Boston, where we are based, it is difficult even to talk to people during networking activities. You actually see people standing alone in corners instead of networking as they are supposed to. In some churches people do not even smile at you, and even at work or at the gym, it is hard to even make ‘work’ or ‘gym’ friends.

What is going on? I do not know the answer, but I think if we start to talk to strangers in the gym, church, the elevator at work, the shops and other places we will increase our chances of meeting interesting people. We do not need to go to the bar or the club; we meet people all the time. We just have to make an effort after a while to smile and talking to strangers will then become a habit. Some people will appreciate it while others will not, but certainly you will meet more people and perhaps one of them will be the guy or girl of your dreams or will introduce you to that special person.

What do you think?