How to meet a good man

| Send to a Friend | Add to favorites |

Image of a handsome man shaving

How to meet the man you like?

Sonia is a sophomore who has never had a boyfriend before simply because she is too shy. She writes, "I never could approach guys because I'm insecure about myself. Anyways, I am attracted to a senior at my campus, I always see him and smile at him and he smiles back but the main problem is we're both shy and have never gone beyond this exchange of smiles. Everyday I tell myself that today is the day I'll at least say hi and ask him his name but I can never bring myself to do it. Because of differences in our schedules, I don't see him often. When I see him and do nothing, that makes me so disappointed with myself. I want that little step to see if he's interested in at least talking to me, then I can move forward. I don't know what to do. Please suggest a plan for me."

Well, there are a few things you need to deal with and they have different time horizons. For instance, overcoming your shyness and insecurities are things that you need to work on long-term while approaching this person is something that you can work on right now. (Related: Pheromones for attraction)

In dealing with cases like yours in the past, different women have found different things that have worked for them. Let me offer you some ideas and you can then decide which one you feel most comfortable trying.

(Related: Dating during holidays)

Write a short note for him telling him exactly how you feel and asking if he feels the same way, and if so, to contact you (email is better than phone because it is easy to respond to an email than not knowing what to say when the phone rings). And then just hand it over to him. Chances are that this will get things started. I even had a case in which one woman simply walked to the guy, handed a piece of paper with her phone number, and had a wonderful relationship. That little act was all both of them needed needed to confirm that they liked each other.
You could start off more slowly by not really introducing yourself but making a casual comment (formally introducing yourself will be awkward but a casual comment that you would make to any perfect stranger will be so much easier for both) when you see him. It could be about the weather or school, or my favorite one, about him. For instance, I get happy when someone comments on my car or hair or sweater or whatever - even if it is a stranger. That's the way we human beings are. We like to be noticed and appreciated by others. I think that will be a good icebreaker. Once you do that, next time you see him, you can take it to next level by saying something like, "Hey, what's up? How is your day going?"
Find out if you both have a mutual friend/connection and see if she/he can hook you up, or in other words, act as a matchmaker. Chances are someone you know might know him or a friend of him and it is easy to make it happen.

Related articles: Commitment phobic men Meet the right kind of men

Nicole Richie and Adam Goldstein Sheryl Crow Lance Armstrong relationship

Dating for widows

Talk to us