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Older women, younger men

Should they pursue relationships?

Image of a couple in which the woman is older while the man is youngAs discussed in my previous article on dating younger men,, women and men younger than them are coming together. The main reason: unavailability of good single men in their age bracket. So is it a good idea to date someone much younger (Age is just a number)? We will first take a look at two stories submitted by our readers and then analyze what it means for the rest of us.  (Related article:  Loving someone ten years younger)

So let us first read what Judy in Ohio writes, “I am 43 yrs old. I hate being old. That is one of my worse enemies right now. I am married, but not happily at all. He drinks a lot and is never home. I hear different things about him from people at various bars where he goes after work. He has done this since we met. I married him because I was pregnant, and not even dating him at the time. We separated 8 years ago, but got back together. I started seeing someone when we were separated and this man was a year younger than me. I never really thought about the age thing since I only saw him once or twice a year. Now my husband and I have decided to do our own thing right now. A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were at a pizza place and there was this guy or maybe I should call him a “kid” (Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher relationship), and he started talking to and since I was in a hurry to leave, he ended up coming over to my place to watch TV. That was all. I did not talk to him for about 8 weeks but he has been calling lately. What do I do? He is really nice and does not seem to look like his age. Is this too much of an age difference (Women who like only younger men)? All I want to do is to have fun that I never had before, because I always waited for my husband to come home and he never did, and still does not.”  (Related article:  Challenges of dating a younger man)
Picture of a mature woman smiling.Now let us read another story; this time from a young man’s perspective. Alex writes, “I seem to feel an incredibly strong attraction to a woman who's 15 years older than I am. I am 18, and she's 33. When we firstly met in a restaurant we both thought about our significant age difference. I look and react rather mature; she looks so young and beautiful. We like each other and connected easily. We spent a few romantic weeks over Christmas together as I showed her around my town which she was visiting as part of her research project. We acted more like friends, well, we completely acted as friends. Several times she said that I must be crazy hanging out with her, because she’s much older. I think we are both very alike: shy, soft-spoken, laid-back, and of course, romantic. I am so happy to be with her. I’m totally sure she won’t take any step to turn the relationship into something more than friendship; I suppose she doesn’t want to hurt me. How can I turn the relationship into a romantic relationship?”  (Related article:  Find a younger man and make him notice you)

In my opinion, age has only a small correlation with maturity and experience. Plus, two people with very different background, experiences, and ages can fall in love. What really matters is if there is strong mental bond. We see that the man in this case perceive the relationship very differently than the women. The woman is too obsessed with her being old, while the man wants to look/feel/act older to mask the fact that he is younger. But the two couples are strongly attracted to each other and feel a bond too.  (Related article:  Hooking up with an old flame)

What is a “mature woman” gotta do?

Stop worrying about being old. No one is old till you think you are too old.  One of my clients right now is a woman who is 36 and her boyfriend is 75 years old. She tells me that, “When we are intimate, it is like gasoline and fire.” So throw this idea out of your mind that you are old, and just because he is younger than you, he is a “kid”. If you ignore men on the basis of age, you will be single the rest of your life.  (Related:  How to introduce a younger boyfriend)

What is a “younger man” gotta do?

Do not try to be what you are not. So be an 18 or a 25 year old. Do not try to be a 33 or 43 year old. You will end up making a fool of yourself. She liked you not because you are young but because you are a wonderful person in her eyes. So give her your best. Be her lover as you will be of someone else’s regardless of the age.

Recommended links:  Dating younger men; rules and tips for women   Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore    Dating younger men   How to fight aging?

Dating a younger man; personal story of a mature woman   Will a younger man dump a mature lover later   Implications of dating someone younger

Enjoying a relationship with a younger man  Why am I dating a younger guy?   Ben McKenzie likes older women   Should I wait for a younger guy

Libido differences among couples with large age gap   Eva Longoria Tony Parker breakup    Middle age crush    Is it wrong to date a younger guy

How to become young again with a younger lover?  Mature woman younger man love   Importance of honesty in dating someone younger  

Age gap is not always an issue if the couple is otherwise compatible    How much age gap is too much

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Photo courtesy:  Isadora Marshall