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Juliana, a 41-year old Australian, met Timothy online about 8 weeks ago. He is 500 miles away but that has not stopped them for doing everything imaginable that couples do - all of it remotely. They have
exchanged
gifts, including used underwear. So when they agreed to meet for the first time at a resort,
a doubt arose in Juliana's mind if she should explore
"real
intimacy" with Timothy. "I must admit that in all my past relationships it happened that we had sex on the first date and all of them failed! I was so scared to ask Timothy that we should refrain from having sex when we meet, because I thought that it was the next thing to do, but to my surprise, he said that he gained even more respect for me than what he had already and would like to do the same!!! But, now the tricky part. Is it alright if we cuddle,
kiss, and hold hands? What is allowed and what not? Please tell me, I don't know how far to
go," Juliana asks
Regarding sex or any form of intimacy on the first date, my advice to most couples is that it is best to go with the flow but still follow the simple rules of dating. In the "real" world, most normal people do not have sex on the first date, and while your situation is different, you should at least not have it on the very first day no matter how much you want each other.
But still couples do it -
Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson
moved in together within 3 days of
meeting. (Related:
How to make Jessica Simpson a virgin
again)
 I would say that you should first deal with him as you would a man on the first date and then see what happens. Of course, since you have known each other for so long, it is perfectly fine to hug and hold hands. Only when you think that things are going well should you move on to kissing and other intimate acts. It would be great if you can wait to be truly intimate. You both will enjoy it even more if you get to know each other as real people.
(Related:
First time sex)
Indeed, some of the rules of the offline world no longer apply. The first date in the past was generally the first time the couple was together or together in a
romantic
setting. In most cases they barely knew each other. The advantage of
online dating is that you can really get to know if the other person is for you before you meet. So it seems even irrelevant to some couples to think that they should not have sex on the first date, because they have already done in virtually. I agree that some of these arguments are quite compelling but I still insist that my clients wait to size each other up before
jumping into bed the moment they see each other.
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