Arranged marriages

Arranged marriages
What are the alternatives?

Amit, a young man from India writes from New Jersey, "I think it is very likely that if I don't find my partner soon enough, my parents and family will suggest an arranged marriage with an Indian woman. While I have no problem with an arranged marriage, I want to marry someone that I fall in love with first - what if I don't love my wife. Please help."

Arranged marriages have worked for centuries in many cultures and is still used in some form almost all over the world (e.g. blind date in the west, or omiai in Japan, etc.). So it is not a bad idea to try to find someone that you know for sure is more compatible with you. Here are a few tips to get started:

Be where the women are. Isn't that simple? The closer you are to women, better the chances for finding the one that you will like. So looking at your situation, find the right places and moments.
Be yourself. Do not fake or act.
Take the initiative. Yeah, sometimes a woman might fall into your lap, but chances are that like anything else in life, you will need to compete or at least try. So approach someone you like, break the ice, and from then on just be a gentleman.
Be patient. It takes time to find that special someone, but the odds go up when you are always trying.
Don't get discouraged by failure. That is just the fact of life. Just because a woman rejects you, it does not mean that there is anything wrong with you - it could be that she already likes someone else, is not interested in a relationship, is shy, or whatever. So move on - you will be better off trying your luck with someone else than trying to convince a disinterested woman.

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