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Amy,
a 26-year old graduate student at Yale
University, is dating a 19-year
old. "When we are one on one, he is supportive, sweet, romantic,
polite, and anything else I could ask
for. I don't notice an age gap
at all when we are alone. When we are
around his friends, though, he suddenly seems
19. Loud, goofy, macho,
etc. I have talked to him about this because it really threw me off the
first time it happened. He stated that
"I mellowed him out" and that
"I have never been so attracted to someone."
He added that his friends bring out the rowdy
side in him. It concerns me to think that he is too young for me, but I am not sure if I want to walk
away from this just yet. None of my friends have met him yet but all
of them say that age is just a number and that I shouldn't limit my
options in life by such a thing. I feel like I am getting stressed
out about the whole thing a little more than necessary. Any advice?" I think you are answered your question somewhat yourself. You are indeed making a big deal out of nothing. Let me give an example. I am
40 years old but when my
three nieces visit (two are teenagers),
my wife and I feel and act different than when
we are with some of our friends who are in their 40s and 50s.
We are still the same people but we
are essentially responding to people around
us. And that is the way it should be. If
we act like 40-year olds with our nieces, they will think of
us as dull and boring. On the other hand, my wife and I have a great time with the
kids and they love us. We do things that we would not do otherwise - eat at the food court in the mall, listen to some cool music,
go to a water park and act goofy, watch a stupid/funny movie, and just have great family fun (we do not have our own kids).
There is nothing wrong with letting
your inner child come out (Age
is just a number) once in a
while. By the way, it will also
help you
stay young forever.
(Related:
How to whiten your teeth?)
So what matters is how it is when you are with him. May be you are just too
conscious about your age. Throw that idea out of your mind that he is "young" and you are "old." On the other hand, I would even say that you should try to just have fun the way he has with his friends.
I also agree with your friends that if everything else is going great then you do not want to end this relationship because of the age alone.
Good men are hard to find and if he meets all other requirements, then you should try to be "young" rather than trying to make him "old."
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