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Brokering a
breakup
The best way to end a relationship
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Martha, a
married woman, but in a relationship full of
physical and mental abuse, has been seeing
another man (who too is in a
dysfunctional relationship with his
girlfriend of 14 years). They think that they
have
found love and have been spending a lot of
time together.
Martha writes, "Tom's
girlfriend somehow read a couple of his
emails from me, when I told him that my husband
does not appreciate me. She has threatened to tell
my husband. She is threatening him about me too, and
he is living under lock and key for the time being.
At our age (late 50s) we both do not want to
get married but we do want to leave our current
relationships, though not
live together, and have this relationship that
is so beautiful. I am very upset at the current turn
of events as I don't know what to do. Please help." |
The
turn of events does not surprise me - any time you are "cheating,"
sooner or later someone will find out. It is nearly
impossible to keep an
extramarital affair a secret forever. I am glad that
you both are still in deep love and this situation is only
bringing you closer.
Martha, the time has come for
both of you to be brave and take on the new challenge. I
think you need to say goodbye to your husband and he needs
to do the same with his girlfriend. Even if you guys don't
live together - you both need to be free to pursue your
love for each other. Sneaking like that for too long is
not possible and maybe now the time has come. It is also
the time for you to stop the abuse and
break free. Maybe your husband will be even more
abusive when you tell him that, so it is not a bad idea to
get help from friends, family members, and even an
attorney when you actually announce your decision to
separate.
These may be difficult
choices to make for both of you but your current
relationship is special and if you leave this opportunity,
another one may simply not come.
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Should I try to save my marriage
How to take a break from a relationship
Should I stay even if my boyfriend does not want
me to
How to forget the pain from breakup
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