for couples to make love
improve your relationship in the bedroom?
in New Haven, Connecticut, writes,
"I have been with this guy for 2 1/2 years. He
goes on long business trips. So, I want to
please him in bed when he comes home. Every time we do
have sex, it's the same old thing. It gets
boring after a while. I want some thing new and fun in bed. Please help!"
(Related article: Bedroom
tips for couples)
You are raising a very important issue -
boredom does set in for most couples if they are not creative and adventurous. Imagine what happens to couples that are together for 10-20-30 years.
Life in the bedroom does get really dull for them and many of them live in
what are often described as "sexless
marriages." But let me share with you what are readers have told us and hopefully you can apply some of these ideas. And please do
to us on your experience since that is how we know what works and what doesn't.
First time sex)
||Change the place.
A lot of couples think that the only place to
make love is the bed in the bedroom. Indeed that is where we all make love most of the time and I strongly recommend that you
decorate your bedroom
tastefully, and change the decoration often to make it look different, but a bedroom is just one of the rooms for most couples. Our readers have found that when they made love in the bathroom or living room carpet or on the deck or on the kitchen counter,
it was definitely much more interesting.
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Change the time. The most common thing is to make love right before going to bed. Yes, it makes sense most of the time but it is also the time that most of our too tired and already stressed out the next day's routine. So what about early morning? You are fresh, full of energy, and it is a great way to start the day. If possible, have you considered a lunch time adventure. If possible try to squeeze
it into your schedule at all hours of the day rather than just before sleeping.
(Related article: Try
Change the setting. You slide into bed,
kiss/cuddle, take your clothes off, make love, and doze off. As in your case, this is not going to be interesting after a while. What our readers
have found to be most effective was to change the setting
every time so that it felt that you were making love to a different person each time. Let me give an example. One of my clients was really into the whole
patient-doctor thing. They had the outfits and some of the paraphernalia that they have in a clinic. Now just imagine the type of "diseases" a person can get and how a
doctor has to check it out thoroughly. They would
tell me a "story" each time they made love. Other couples have tried similar
role plays or things like
spa at home or watched movies
for couples or invited other couples
to join them. It is entirely up to you - do what you feel works for both of you and let your imagination go wild.
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do you think? Share your
thoughts with us