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I was
initially torn between enjoying what we have, to knowing, it cannot get serious. I recently had
surgery and he stayed with me at the hospital and has been very
supportive.
Part of me wishes he would fall head over heels in love with me, and the other wishes, he would not. I know myself and I can totally see myself falling in love with
him. I told him that if I felt I was "falling" for him, I would
end the
relationship, since it would not be fair to him or me. And his response, was,
"What if I fall in love with you
first?" I told him, "We would handle that, if it did happen."
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As
a matter of fact, over the weekend, Sam and I were talking of how in the 8 weeks we have been dating, we have not disagreed on anything. He told me I am
everything that he is looking for in a woman - wise,
sexy, smart, beautiful. At one point, as I was drifting to sleep, I could have sworn, he asked me a question about
having a
baby. What he asked was, "If I could, would I have a baby with him?" I answered,
"Yes, in a heartbeat!!
At one point we woke up in the middle of the night, and I asked, "Sam, why did you ask me that question last night?" Sam said, "I did not ask you anything." I asked, "Are you sure you did not talk to me as I was going to sleep?" Again, he said, no. He asked, What did I ask?" I was too embarrassed to tell him what the question was (afraid that he does not feel that way). I just told him, "Don't worry, the answer was "yes." He said, "Well, I am glad the answer was "yes." Sam said, "I think I have a idea of what you "think" I asked." I told him, "I will tell you the question I asked, if you tell me what you "think" the question was." All he said was, "The "timing" was not right" and we left it at that.
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Lachey)
After speaking to a counselor and friends I realized that I was not "stupid" for feeling/thinking what I think sometimes. I will
enjoy the time we spent together and hope it continues. I have been
honest and fair to him and he is the one who wants to take a chance. That way I know that this is more of a "friendship" than a romantic relationship. Life is too short to worry about everything and once in a while you just have to
let
serendipity drive things forward. If you are truly enjoying what is happening and as long as the rules are clear, you have no reason to deny yourself pleasures like this.
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