Why ex wants to stay in touch with me?

Why does my ex boyfriend want to be in touch?
I already ended the relationship with him

Summary: A married lady fails to understand why her ex lover still wants to maintain some type of relationship with her even though she is no longer interested in him because he does not want to marry her.

Valentina writes, "After I cheated on my husband with a very cute man and realizing the mistake, I stopped it. Now I have been working on saving my marriage. It's still not 100% but it's a start on getting back on the right track. I've decided not to contact my ex-lover at all on my own. Now lately he has been emailing and texting me on a daily basis. I guess he can't forget me just like I can't forget him. But I still treat him fairly nice; I've just blocked out the fact that we had a relationship since I know that he is not willing to give up his family for me. The only thing I'm wondering now is, why does he still want to stay in contact with me?"

I am so happy with the progress that you have made towards saving your marriage and family. I am also happy that you are starting to bring back the passion in your marriage.

As a man what I can tell you is that we also have our egos and vanity. The very thought that a married woman finds a man more attractive and desirable than her hubby is enough to make any man feel like a stud, particularly if he is in his middle age. So by keeping in touch with you, he wants to keep that feeling alive (remember how Henry Tudor took a dip in the so-called fountain of youth after he fell in love with a much younger Jane Seymour?). Obviously, he is also hopeful that if circumstances permit, he can re-create the good time that he had with you.

I think as long as you follow the current strategy (not be in love with him but fine to keep him as a friend), it is OK to even "flirt" with him. I even tell women to go ahead and tease their online lovers, if they wish. It is safe and harmless and men and women have told me that they get aroused and then have great sex with their spouses after that.

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