Ask the right questions
By Imfwama Wotela
have been discussing the importance of finding a
relationship that is going to create value for
you, your partner, and people around you,
including children that may be a result of a
relationship. It is very important to
first ask yourself what is the main
purpose that you seek a relationship.
Once that is clear in your mind, you will be
better off in setting the goals and developing a
path to get there. (Related:
Jessica Simpson unable to forget Nick Lachey)
develop a plan for
finding a relationship, I am
listing here at least some questions that you need
to ask. Let me say that this is not the only
questions that you need to ask. You might
have your own set of questions. Add them to
the list. Similarly, there are questions
that may not be relevant to your situation.
Ignore them for the time being. What is
important is that you ask the questions and then
seek their answers. It is perfectly fine to
sit down with your partner and ask the questions
directly. Tell her/him that knowing the
answer is important to you.
So be real with yourself and ask the following questions:
for finding a good relationship
- Be of the same or similar interest
- Be able to talk
- Ask about her/his religion/faith/belief system? Do you agree with it or at least can you live with it?
- Is age a problem with you? Is s/he too old or too young? If so can you still live with and love her/him?
- Do you feel safe with her/him?
- How does he treat animals or children?
- If things get serious and s/he wants marriage, what would you say?
- How about her/his
ethnicity, etc.? Do you mind?
- Are you able to introduce her/him to your friends, parents, etc. with pride?
- Are you proud of her/him?
- Are you able to hold hands or be seen together in public?
- Do you like her/him? If yes, what do you like?
- Do you mind him kissing or touching or being
physically intimate with you?
- How about his personal choices with respect to
style and habits? Are you OK with it?
- Eat out together so that you see how s/he behaves
- Visit her/his place and see how s/he lives or does s/he still live with her/his parents?
- What is her/his family like? How do they treat her/him?
- Does s/he have heavy responsibilities (e.g.
children from previous marriage or elderly parents who need to be taken care of)?
- What is the family history like?
- Is s/he organized?
- Does s/he work?
- What do you think about a
joint bank account?
- At the end of the day, do you still
want see her/him? Is it worth the trouble?
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