Finding happiness after breakup

Just look for happiness around you

Lisa in Mesa, Arizona, writes, “I met this wonderful man at a party the other day. He asked me out and we had dinner a few times. Suddenly he has stopped calling me. I called him twice already. I really feel that we can be happy together. I am heart broken and keep crying every day. I have already visited a therapist, because the feeling is overwhelming. Should I call him again? A mutual friend told me that he is seeing someone else.  I want my happiness again.”

Darling, it looks as it is over for you and him. Perhaps you could have been happy together, but he chose another path and you should respect that and move on. I am surprised that after only a couple of dinner dates you are so devastated by his departure. 

It is a good idea to see the therapist, because you may need to deal with other issues as well. Probably you are only using him or your crush on him as an escape to other problems or you are dealing with men in the wrong way.  Happiness is a far more complex emotion but at the same time, by recognizing all those factors that can make you happy, you can start to count them and the result will be remarkable.

You have to understand the fact that this man did not love you and found someone else. It does not mean that you cannot be loved. It seems that you put a lot in this person and he was not even a boyfriend. You only went out a couple of times. Perhaps, you are desperately trying to get happiness from outside. Happiness begins inside you. So look around you. Are you satisfied with your job? What is missing in your life? A man is not the solution to all our problems. Any married woman will tell you this. You have to find happiness within yourself so you can make someone else happy and develop a good relationship. Try keeping a journal of gratitude; write everyday something that you are grateful for, write it at night and during the day, think about what you wrote the night before and what you can write today. You will start to see beautiful things around you all the time and appreciate most things in your life.

You may also want to add a column in your journal about good things about you, one a day and read it when you feel lonely. Do not forget to do something special for you periodically such as a manicure or a facial mask, have a spa day at home go to a café in a bookstore, buy a video game, get a new dress, read a novel and do anything out of your routine that makes you happy. Stop concentrating on the negatives and try to move on. 

Recommended links:  Learning to breakup and move on     Spa at home   Breakup tips for teenagers      Brangelina phenomenon     Painless breakups

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