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Model for LuvCube |
How to leave an abusive
relationship?
Be
discreet, smart, and quiet
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The
most loveable and charming person can
suddenly turn into a monster and
become an abusive partner. A lot of
women simply do not know how to
respond when that happens, and as a
result, simply suffer the abuse. The
attempt to escape a dangerous
relationship is often a frightening
and confusing experience, rather than
one that brings them hope and relief.
Susan
Pines, a survivor of
intimate partner violence and
author of What a Nice Guy, believes
the key to a safe escape is early
preparation. Pines encourages women to
thoroughly consider the following
three parts to a successful safety
plan: |
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- Prepare a safety
kit which includes clothing,
toiletries, medications, keys,
money, copies of important
documents, change (preferably a
prepaid calling card with enough
money) to use a pay phone, and a
phone book or address book. Keep
this kit near an exit route or with
a trustworthy person.
- Make arrangements
to stay in a safe place, such as a
shelter, hotel, or the house of
someone the abuser does not know.
Erase any e-mail or information on a
computer that may help the abuser
discover the location of the safe
place. Understand that the
abuser may be able to track credit
card or cell phone bills to find
this location. The least number of
traces you leave, poorer the chances
of being tracked.
- Create a strategy
for how to leave, especially if the
situation escalates. Try to leave
when the abuser is not home. Take
the safety kit and leave quickly.
Call a hotline, agency, or local
police for more help.
- Pines also
stresses the importance of being
discreet while planning a safe
escape, saying, "If your partner
suspects you are leaving, he will
most likely become more violent. So
it is important to prepare carefully
and secretly. This is not the time
to break the news to him gently in
the hope it will make him less
upset."
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Related:
How to get out of an abusive
relationship?
Tips for abused women
How to fight fears in a relationship? |
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