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More
divorces are resulting in women in their 40s and 50s with no one to date in their age
bracket as men in this age bracket
pick younger women. The net result is that for
younger men and mature women there is no other alternative than to date
each other. (Related:
How to introduce a younger boyfriend) But let us read what Richard is going through. He writes, "I'm ten years older than my wife and I care for her
deeply but I don't know how I can get her
more excited in the bed
room. She feels since I'm older, I should know more (I
think I do) but she does not feel comfortable with me even after having three children
with me. I sometimes feel guilty for getting married to her being that at the time we did; she was just about twenty years of age and I was twenty nine. I
sometimes feel that with the house, children, and other family
responsibilities, this has taken a lot from her growing years . She does not have any
friends and the ones she had are still single and playing the
field. Something she is not comfortable
with since she is married but she also isolates herself from
others which makes it even harder to meet
people or other couples to make friends with. My question is Could the age difference be the cause of her
isolation/discomfort? How can I help to make my life with my young wife more exciting? The guilty feeling of being older makes the
atmosphere in the bedroom
tense. What can I do?"
It seems that there is just too much "junk" in Richard's head. He has filled his mind with too many baseless arguments that are of his own making. Here are
my suggestions:
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First of all, take this idea out of your mind that you are "old."
If you think you are
old, you will get old even faster.
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It is very natural to
lose some of the passion and excitement
as we age, as children come along, and as stresses/worries of daily life take over. So you are
not suffering from any special problems. All couples deal with them and there are dozens of things that you can do as we discuss on
LuvCube.
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If she is heaving difficulty getting "wet" (it is very common among women), sometimes it is a medical problem that can be easily treated. You can also use
lubricants in the meantime.
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If she is not getting mentally
excited, there are many other things that you can do as a couple. Not you alone; she has to do her part as well. All the way from
lingerie,
videos,
bedroom
decoration, aromatherapy to
toys and
weekend getaways are things that you should try.
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When you are married you should both try to
make friends with other
couples. Not only will you learn from other couples, it is good to hang out with people
of other gender without the usual tension of you talking to another woman behind your wife and she talking to another man behind you. Healthy interaction
with couples like this enhances private life for everyone. What is the easiest way to make friends? What I have found is to
organize parties at your
home. When you invite four couples, they invite you in return and you meet some new people at those parties and the cycle continues. In a matter of six months you
will end up knowing at least a dozen couples. Make sure you find time for socialization and doing things together. At that point you will also find that
sometimes all the women will get together on their own to go shopping or men might just hang out watching sports. The network builds pretty fast.
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Personally for you, the question is, Are you acting "old?" Have you put
weight on your
tummy? Are you still wearing the clothes that you used 10 years ago? Do you show up in the bed room in an old T shirt and ugly, cotton boxers? Think again about how you look
when you are with her in the
bedroom and consider a makeover. Dress for the bedroom
appropriately. Get into bed sooner than normal to have time for chatting and bonding. Try to be romantic to her.
Take a bath together before
sleeping.
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Finally, start feeling young and you will forget that you are older than her.
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