share all your secrets with your partner?
Imfwama Wotela (Continued from previous
Well to answer that I would say “yes” and “no” but I would rather you answer this question because secrets are very sensitive issues and ought to be treated with the seriousness they deserve.
When you finally meet your
soul mate and have
fallen in love there is so much excitement that you wouldn’t want to trade your gift for anything. You are not ready for anything to come between the two of you, neither are you ready for rejection or criticism. A lot of people struggle with the issue of wanting to be accepted by certain people hence all the secrecy – hiding vital information that will eventually come out and then cause you to spend time pleading and asking for forgiveness.
||The aspect of sharing your secret with your partner is a personal decision, hard as it may be, must be given serious thought though you are not obligated but you have to take it into consideration especially how it will affect that relationship now if you said it today or 10 years down the line.
There are certain secrets that are better disclosed by yourself rather than your partner hearing about it from a third party because the repercussions may just be too disastrous. You run the risk of not only losing trust that you may have built but your partner forever.
On the other hand they say, “Let sleeping dogs lie.” True, there are certain issues that are best left unsaid, but the choice is always yours. Further it is always good to consider these issues before tying the knot; settle old scores amicably and only bury what is dead and not alive, lest it resurrects to not only haunt you but to destroy just when your life is finally comfortable.
What should you consider when exposing your secret?
In my opinion I believe wisdom is required when you finally decide to release your secret or open up. Ensure it is the right time; know if the person is strong enough to handle it, and just weigh to see what the outcome will be when you do tell them. Certain people have had a heart attack upon hearing hidden truths and have died. Others have
divorced and still others have simply walked away and never returned.
||The following questions are worth considering:
Why is it a secret?
Why don’t you want anybody to know it?
For how long do you plan to keep this secret?
Will it destroy or destabilize people’s lives when it is exposed?
Will it cause pain, enmity or division once known?
Why have you kept quiet about it all these years?
What is the motive behind your saying it today and not 10 years ago?
Are you ready to be judged or rejected for keeping it this long?
Are you able to give answers to the questions that may arise?
Is it important to say it or just let it die without anyone ever knowing?
Every time a person thinks of opening their mouth they should always think of how their words will affect the listeners. If our words and actions will bring about war, pain and division, then silence is a better option, but if our words will bring about healing and restoration, then let it be heard. Always be mindful of how other people will feel and aim to be a builder and not a destroyer.
of success of a relationship
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