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How to tell my mother that
I am pregnant?
She does not like my boyfriend because he is poor |
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Pamela writes, "I was a
divorced, young woman until I met a
much younger man in my college. We
fell in love and I am currently
pregnant with his child. I am actually
financially stable and
building my own business with the help of my
boyfriend, though, he is still a student and does not have a
job yet. Considering that I will be a mom soon, after I graduate
it would very hard for me to find a
job in an office so I will stick with
running my business from home. All is so well in my life but
my mother, who raised me as a
single mom, is the root of all my problems. She wants to
dictate every aspect of my life and wanted me to date a
white guy but I did not really like him after going on a few
dates and found much more in common with my current
Asian boyfriend. My mother, let's just say, she's
obsessed with money. If a guy don't have millions in his
pocket that can be shared with her, he is no good for me. Her
own relationship too isn't good, as she's
divorced
from my real father and is now with another
man who cheats on her, makes her life miserable. As for me,
she wants me to be there to take the blame of all her
misfortunes. I tried to hide my
pregnancy from her for several months and that's why I am
living independently supporting myself. My mother thinks
that I am still with the white guy (he is very rich) she
introduced to me and
got pregnant with him. So far that's what I am telling her.
Was I right to do this for now and tell her the truth later? I
know she will go berserk once she finds out and tell me that I
am the curse of the family. She is pretty excited about my baby
but that is because she's expecting a
biracial kid. I am afraid she won't understand me as she,
herself doesn't
believe in true love. All she cares about is
money.
That's what she believes can
make marriage work. I never saw her loving someone for who
the man really is but she loves the man for what he has. I can't
say that to her. She's also a person who doesn't accept faults
and always blames her problems on other people. The interaction
that I need to have with her soon is causing me a lot of agony
and I don't know how to deal with her. Please help." |
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 Since
you are
financially independent and live separately from
her, you really don't need her in case she gives you a
hard time. I know she is your mother but she is an
abusive mother and all your life, she has simply
abused you and everyone else around you. If you do
not fight back, you will continue to be
abused by her and there is no escape. Now that you
are a big girl,
in love with a good man,
financially independent, it is time to
declare your independence from her. I do not expect
her to change -- though she might realize that she has
to accept the things the way they are -- but as soon as
you cut the umbilical cord, you will feel much happier
and can actually build a new life without her. |
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The truth will come out in a
matter of month and you will need to confront her at that point
and that maybe a bad time to do so because you would have just
given birth, will be weak from
childbirth and will be in the company of your boyfriend and
his family. The best course of action is to tell her the truth.
Since she will go ballistic with the news, just tell her that
you are an adult and know what you are doing. If she does not
want what is good for you, you have no choice but to break all
contact with her. It is a painful thing to do to break the
family ties, especially with a mother, but in your case, this is
the only choice you have to
build a life full of love and happiness. Not only
she is a control freak, but a greedy,
arrogant, and elitist person. As long as you have a
relationship with her, you will not be able to live happily. |
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Related:
Why do
my parents hate my boyfriend |
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