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One of the major reasons a woman can’t
leave a bad relationship is she is not
financially
independent. You see when a man realizes that you are totally dependant on him and he knows that you don’t have any other source of income and you are not independent, it becomes a problem for you because chances of that man taking advantage of you are very high. Well, depending on how that man is like, he will start to make threats like, “I will end this relationship” or
“Get out of my house” every time you
disagree with him even when you could be right. He may even start to make ultimatums and run your life on his terms. He will do this because he knows that you don’t have anywhere to go to and you will stay because you have no other source of income. He may even use you as an excuse for his shortcomings and accuse you of spending too much money.
That is why
personal finance and
retirement planning are key. And
while you need to do these things as a
couple, you also need to have your own
little plan that if your marriage
comes to an end, you are not dependent
on him for everything. (Related:
How to stop
codependency)
Let's take a look at the following story. Sarah got married to Nelson right after completing her high school. She had no further training but he promised her that he would send her to college after she
gave him a child. At the time it didn’t bother her because he was working and had a business which was doing well. In her mind life was looking good and this was it. Today 10 years later, she is looking after their
three children and he never sent her to college like he said because he said he was doing well financially and who was going to look after the babies. He had to
declare bankruptcy and they had to sell the cars in order to survive but they still had the business, which was limping. They quarreled over money almost every day and if the fights got worse he threatened that he will
end the marriage saying that she has never contributed anything in their marriage and that all she ever did was spend his money and she was responsible for his losing all that he had.
When this begins to happen the woman starts to ‘sink’ and wonder after all
the sacrifice that she made for
him, this is all she got. Well, girl, it’s true, you need to make certain sacrifices in life but some are costly because you may never have another chance to do what you could have done. When you are
independent in your mind you will take intelligent risks that will bring you benefits in the long run. So the decision you make today will bear results, say, in the next five years. Still others come out very bitter after they spend the last phase of their lives blaming the man except themselves.
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