Dating for first time

Mike writes, "I have had some flirts and some nice moments with girls, as short as they were, but I am 19 years old and I have never had a real relationship. When I was young, I was quite shy. Now that I’m older, I am starting to approach women a little. But for me to make any contact with a girl I need to learn to break the ice. I’m not that assertive. Please help."

I think the first area that you need to focus on is to get some experience – not with just girls that you truly wish to date but with the females of the human species. The reason that is important is that you need to get some experience as soon as possible so that you will be better prepared whenever you meet the "girl of your dreams." I am suggesting the following strategy for you.

1. Make a list of all the girls/women in your life that are currently approachable (I mean those you can somehow contact and be able to spend time with them in person – these could be friends, friends-of-friends, colleagues, relatives, etc.). They need not be the ones that you think today as romantic friends but as long as they could potentially be, it is OK to put them on the list. You will be surprised to know how effective this exercise is and how fast it works. Now you have your hit list.
2. The most difficult task is to find people – making friends is the easy part. You can make this list quite long if you think creatively. I mean, for example, the woman at the convenience store who often smiles at you or the friend of a friend who showed interest in you when you met at a party but you did not even catch her last name and have no clue how to track her down again. Or a distant cousin whom you can easily approach - after all you already have some initial connection here. At this point, anyone is a potential date for you. (Related article: How to attract women)
3. Once you have your list ready, then try to spend time with them whenever you can. Not only will you learn how it is to be hanging out with women, someone will actually see you as a charming person and might even want to have a relationship with you or will recommend you to her friend. At this point, you are not necessarily looking for a romantic relationship, but you are learning how to socialize with women and how to flirt. (Related article: How to become a warm and friendly person)
4. And that is how the dating games begins.

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