Overweight wife: How to tell her?

Jack in Brooklyn, New York, writes, “My wife is getting bigger by the day. I love her. I do not want to hurt her feelings and she is very sensitive but I think she is starting to look older and uglier and one day she will regret it. Should I tell her? How?”

Yes, you should. Many people put on weight without realizing it. And if people close to them do not help them to realize what they are doing wrong, no one else will. It does not help anyone at all. Overweight people also earn less. Obesity not only makes you look ugly, it is also bad for your health. So as a responsible husband, you need to let her know. Most men do not do so because they are afraid, like you, that they will end up hurting their wives and there will be more problems in their marriage because of some honest feedback from them. (Related article: How to motivate an overweight spouse to lose weight)

Women are caregivers and many times forget about themselves. Maybe you should give her an example and try to have a healthier lifestyle as a couple. Otherwise with lots of tact, you should tell her what you told us: you love her no matter what, but you have noticed that she is consistently gaining weight and you are concerned about her health. Ask her how you can help and what you two can do together. (Related article: Weight loss for spouse)

It is also a good idea to propose that both of you take on one challenge each and then celebrate by doing something together. Have you always wanted to learn playing guitar? Or just pick something that is challenging and then work side by side with her and you will see that she will be more receptive to your suggestion. (Related article: Dieting for couples)

With the advancements that we have made, there are several options that she can consider to get back in shape.

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