Making interracial relationships work

Interracial relationships are not easy and they are even more difficult when they are also inter-cultural and/or inter-religious. So couples who get attracted to someone who has a different religion, culture, race, etc. they need to be extra careful because the strain on the relationship can drain them. Having said that, it does not mean that the interracial relationships are a bad idea. On the other hand, they are a great way to explore a new culture. And we at MYNIPPON hear beautiful stories of couples who have found love with someone who is so different from them. (Related article: Can interracial marriages work?)

But why is Mary unhappy in her interracial relationship? She has been together with her boyfriend for three years but lately she is realizing that they are drifting away from each other. "I find myself trying not to upset him because he doesn't understand some of the stuff that I am going through: school, family, health insurance payments, etc. He also has been swearing a lot lately. I have been trying to let him know that he needs to stop swearing. I know it's not easy when you've got a habit but, you can try your best. My family, on top of everything that is going on, has been telling me that if he loves me, he would at least do a wedding ceremony as soon as possible. I am Hmong and he is Caucasian. He likes everything about his culture; yet he hasn't tried to understand any thing about my culture and language. I'm lost. I feel like I love him but I want to move on. He doesn't seem to want to tell me what he really feels, whether it be love or no love. What should I do?" Mary asks.

Since you guys have been together for three years, it is not a good idea to just end the relationship without putting some thought into it and without making an effort to make it work. Our research has shown that ending a relationship might seem as the easiest thing to do, the effect of ending a relationship in which you invested a lot of emotion can be disastrous. Having said that, it does not mean that you should stay in a relationship that is not going anywhere or you are unhappy in it, but you need to ask yourself first if you have done your best yet. Then you can walk away without any guilt and be able to move on. (Related article: How to move on after breakup and start a new life?)

Here are a few questions to ask:

1. Do you truly love him now?
2. Can you imagine being in love with him ten years from now even if he stays the same?
3. How big a problem is his swearing and not appreciating Hmong culture?
4. Isn't the bigger problem that he just does not understand you and can not communicate with you?

The answers to these questions will allow you to make up on your mind. It is very common after a few years to realize that the person that you fell in love with initially is not what you imagined. And if you are not married and do not have any children from the relationship, it is much better to simply move on.

So think well, do your research on what you want out of life and your relationship, ask if you have done your best, and then simply end the relationship.

Recommended article: How to breakup without hurting your partner?