In response to a question from a woman from California who could not move on after a breakup, we had done a story Knowing when it is time to move on after the relationship is over. After reading it, we have heard from Tanya, who seems to have an identical situation.

Tanya writes, "I was with my now ex-boyfriend for 20 months and suddenly he went out on a Friday night the weekend that I had my 9-year old daughter, which was fine if he had only told me. The next day he didn't call me at all. I eventually called him later that afternoon. I asked him why he hadn't called me at all that day and he said that he didn't know why. I asked him, well, you must not have thought of me at all today and he said he had. So I asked again why didn't you call, it's not like you to do this often. Again he replied, "I don't know". So I told him he needs to know what he wants and he said, "I don't know what to say". So I said, "You need to know" and I hung up. That next morning he called and invited my daughter and I to breakfast. I said I couldn't because I had a plumber coming to the house and I had to be here. He said, "OK, then I will talk to you later. I called him and invited him to lunch; he joined us for lunch and I acted pissed to him but I was hurt, not mad. The next morning I joined him at his house for coffee. We had an incredible time in bed and everything seemed ok but I felt something was wrong. I left him that morning, went to work and he called me after I got off work. He was in a great mood. Then I brought up again the topic of him going out, and I hung up on him again. He didn't call me back and I didn't hear from him for 2 days after that, until Wednesday night I received an e-mail from him. He was breaking up with me over the Internet which was a slap in my face. His reasoning was he didn't love me as much as I loved him and that he didn't see a future for us. I was so devastated and heartbroken. This was a man I had given my heart and soul to. I truly know that he was my soul mate, I have never loved anyone as much as I love him still. I did and gave everything to him. Not money, but my love and caring for him. I have seen him twice since the break-up because I had to get my things out of his house since we lived together for a while then we broke up and went back together but lived separately. I am trying so hard to move on but it is so hard. But I can't move away from my home because my mom and kids are here and I couldn't leave them. Do you have anything to say that can help me move on?"

Here are a few important points to note:

• It seems that you took the meaning of the word "soulmate" lightly. Yes, you loved him a lot but it seems that he did not. And that is why you were not soulmate which is a mutual relationship. That is what makes it so hard for you to move on. You loved him like you have never loved anything, as you said, and you are just having a hard time accepting that reality.
• A breakup by a man is like rejection. And women are not too good when it comes to handling rejection. Read a series of articles here on how to deal with rejection.
• Yes, Beth in the previous story did move on because she moved out of state and that gave her a fresh start.
• It is not impossible to find happiness after you breakup. Here are more tips on finding happiness after your relationship ends.

Related reading

How to breakup without hurting your partner

How to get back to dating

How to end a long term relationship

Stretch marks cause a lot of anxiety to mostly women but some men also may suffer from stretch marks, particular when they are young and growing rapidly. Anita in Sioux Falls is asking, "I watch television and look at the models in magazines and it seems that no one seems to have any stretch marks. Am I the only one to have them then? What do models do to hide their stretch marks? I want to buy the same stretch marks cream that they use."

No, you are not the only one to have stretch marks. Almost all women, including models, movie stars, and celebrities have stretch marks. (Related article: Stretch marks in teenagers)

What do models do to get rid of stretch marks?

1. Something very important to know right away: what you see on television or in magazines is not what is really there. Today's sophisticated technology allows the producers to eliminate any "ugly" parts from a flawless skin on television, that is not how she is in real life.
2. If you have stretch marks in a very prominent part of the body and you do not want to go through surgery or laser treatments, then you can apply water-proof makeup to hide it when you have to.
3. Similarly you can use a self tanner to hide the stretch marks.
4. There are several stretch marks creams that are on the market, e.g., Strivectin-SD, Zenmed stretch mark cream, Trilastin, Striae, Mustela, Decleor, Barmon, and many others. While these creams do show some marginal improvement (particularly if your stretch marks are not too bad), they do not completely remove them as some manufacturers claim. However, there is no harm in trying.

Recommended articles: Natural remedy for removal of stretch marks from Latin America

Needling

It is no secret that women have stuffed their bras as long as bras have been around. And based on emails that we have received, it appears that almost everything possible has been used by women to do so - tissue paper, socks, items of clothing (particularly scarves), etc. But still we have a question from Melissa, who says, "I have done an extensive search, but have not found a single website that clearly tells me how to stuff my bra when I want do. And no one seems to know the right answer. What do the fashion experts at MYNIPPON think?"

1. If you can afford it, we suggest that you go for an enhancer bra rather than stuff your bra (but we will discuss more on stuffing later if that is what you want to do). The best quality bras have built-in silicone gel pads and all you need to do is to wear it as you would any other bra. These bras come in many sizes and you can pick one based on whatever cup size you want. These can cost over $100 but the fit and the natural feeling is well worth the investment.
2. The next option is to buy the silicone enhancers that cost less than the bra but still will go for about $150. However, you can use them with any regular bra.
3. Of course, you can always buy a foam-padded bra that is much less expensive but does not give the profile of silicone gel pads and you can go only one cup size bigger in most cases. Similarly, you can foam pads also separately at any online lingerie store (generally under accessories or model secrets section).
4. Finally, if you just want to stuff your bra without spending anything, our experts suggest that the two-bra method. You wear a bra and stuff it with either scarves (if only a slight increase is desired) or with a hand towel (if a large increase in size is desired), and the wear another bra on top to keep everything in place.

Recommended article: How to wear a bra?

What can you do when you are obsessed with someone but the other person does not even know this or realizes it or is simply not interested? This seems to happen all the time. While you learning Japanese from a Japanese woman. I adore and like her very much. I asked her out twice for lunch, but she turned me down on both occasions. Each time, she found an excuse. I'm so fustrated. Do you think she dislikes me or was she simply too busy? Should I continue to ask her out or should I stay away from her? What should I do? I keep thinking about her everyday and would love to have my first Japanese girlfriend. Help!"

• Let us give the object of your desire the benefit of doubt. Since you asked only twice, may be she was indeed busy. The best way to approach this issue is to remind her gently that your invitation for a lunch still stands and you would rather let her pick the day this time so that she can make it.
• Does she dislike you? I do not think there is enough evidence to think so. I see no reason for her to dislike you - after all she is happy to be your teacher. The bigger question is Does she like you and does she like you the way you like her.
• In my opinion, while lunch is a good idea and it will help you understand her as a person better, but it may still not be the way to find out if she is interested in the kind of relationship that you have in mind. The solution to this problem: A step-by-step program for seduction. I say step-by-step because the first step will be if she is a good candidate for your seduction. If not, you can abandon the program at that stage and go back to having her as your language teacher.

Recommended articles: How to approach the woman of your dreams?

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Japanese women and lingerie

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Japanese lingerie shop

By Pierre Coda

Considering the fact that MYNIPPON is based in the Boston area, it is no surprise that our whole team is a fan of the Boston Red Sox. So today is a special day for all of us as we celebrate their historic win.

There were not many who doubted the talent in the team. They have consistently played so well that they almost made it to the top but didn't, and that is why the whole thing related to the 'curse'. But what are the lessons about life for us to learn from the remarkable story of Red Sox:

1. The power of teams. As one person is rarely, if ever, responsible for the win of the team, one person is similarly not responsible for a loss. It is what the team makes it happen.
2. The importance of giving credit to star performers. Not everyone in a team is an equal performer. So while recognizing the overall power of the team, it is important to give what is due to the star performers and it should come from other team members, team leader, fans, and everyone else who is related.
3. The power of positive thinking. Never give up hope because when you do, everything comes to a standstill and you rot. And this is true not only as an individual or as a team but also as an external entity. For example, the Red Sox die-hard fans never gave up on them. They never switched loyalty and always gave their support to the team which motivated them even more.
4. Life is full of happiness and sorrow. Rare is a case when life is only about happiness or only about sorrow. You will have both. So celebrate when you experience moments of joy and stay optimistic when sorrow comes.

Recommended article: What is the purpose of life?

We Americans are great at one thing: carrying pictures of our loved ones with us. While we may not take as many pictures as the Japanese, we do carry them around a whole lot. I have seen both men and women of all ages going ga-ga over pictures of their loved ones, particularly children. How many times have I been in a conference room with very senior level executives who supposedly take decisions about the future of this world and then one of these gray-haired men will take out the picture of his grand-daughter and everything will come to a stop till everyone has had a chance to take a look?

So Apple has heard what we all wanted? A way to carry our photos with us wherever we go. The new iPod Photo can carry as many as 25,000 photos. I am not sure that I have that many photos yet despite the fact that my digital camera goes with me everywhere. Oh, don't think that iPod Photo does not include your songs. It does. Actually 15,000 of them. You will have a total memory of 60GB which is way more than most of the computers people have.

Using the slideshow mode, you can actually show the photos to everyone around you or just admire them as you spend some quite time thinking of the loved ones in your life.

It is indeed a little expensive, though but you might need to think a bit but as my friends at MasterCard would say, the experience of watching your loved ones on the screen wherever you go is "priceless."

There is one more reason I like iPod Photo. Those of us who are into blogs and in particular photo blogs will find it to be a handy way to take their pictures with them and be able to upload the pictures to their blog even from an Internet cafe.

The next thing I want Mr. Steve Jobs: an iPod Photo with an integrated digital camera.

By Pierre Coda

Photo courtesy: Apple

After reading our article regarding the availability of many styles of fishnet pantyhose and stockings for almost any occasion, Carmen in Naperville, Illinois, is asking, "What do you wear fishnet stockings with? I don't want to come across as clueless but I want to let the world know what I am wearing. Any suggestions?"

As anyone can guess, there is a big difference in regular pantyhose and fishnets. While regular pantyhose is worn with the goal not to invite any special attention to the legs, the intention with fishnet pantyhose is totally opposite: make others notice you. So here are some rules for coordinating your outfit when you wear fishnets, or in other words, when to wear fishnets if you have already decided the overall outfit:

1. If you can't show a substantial portion of your legs, there is no reason to wear fishnet. Therefore, if you are going to wear pants, pick something that leaves some leg exposed (e.g. Capri style).
2. If you are going to wear a skirt (any length) or shorts, fishnet pantyhose is perfect.
3. Fishnet stockings are also commonly used as part of what we call the "bedroom attire". Chances are that you will not be covering your legs in this case so they go well with almost anything that decide to wear (whether it is a baby doll, chemise, bustier, or a teddy).
4. Finally, if you just feel like wearing fishnet pantyhose, then just don't worry about coordinating it. You are wearing it for yourself!

Recommended article: Where can I use fishnet stockings?

When picking a style women have to be careful not to commit a faux-pas. That is why if you don't know something, do some research, or better still, ask someone. Liz in Camden, New Jersey, asks, "I have been a big fan of mini-skirts all my life and now I am tempted to wear them with boots. Do they go together well? What do I need to watch out for?"

Well, actually the two go together perfect. This is a classic look among Japanese girls who are known for wearing the shortest possible mini-skirts and tallest boots. In fact, if you don't have the longest or the prettiest legs but still want to wear mini-skirts, boots come to your rescue particularly that cover your knees and almost reach your thighs. Thus, you create a very sexy look without really exposing anything. So your skin will be well protected in the harsh winter of New Jersey but still be able to wear a mini skirt. An excellent example is the model on this page. She is wearing a mini skirt but her boots go way past her knees giving only a glimpse of her leg:

Recommended link: How to wear boots to create a great look?

If you are like most men, you probably do not anything more than just cutting your nails when they grow too long. Yes, cutting nails is a matter of basic hygiene and it can not always be accomplished with just cutting them. What you need is a proper manicure.

And before you start laughing and start worrying that you might be labeled a metrosexual (though there is nothing wrong with that since you are more likely to attract women), you can have a manicure and still not think of yourself as feminine. In fact a lot of the things that women do (spa treatments, facials, manicures, pedicures, etc.) are very basic body care practices and should be part of your spa routine.

So what does a manicure do for a man?

• A professional manicurist at a day spa not only cuts your nails but also cleans them thoroughly. It is not easy to cut your own nails and when you let an expert do that for you, you get better results.
• Orly has now introduced a new natural-look nail finish NAIL FOR MALES. Once she applies it on you, your nails will look better and no one would know. This easily concealed nail care product helps protect your nails against damage and drying out. The product has been quite popular so much so that some women are using it - particulary executives who do not want to show off their nail polish. It gives the nails a very natural, buffed look.
• And during the interim period to your next manicure appointment, use a nail cleaner and file to keep the nails in shape. Tweezerman, the best known brand in nail care, has introduced Pedro Ceramic Pocket Nail File & Cleaner specifically for men.

Recommended link: Tips for metrosexuals

Spa gift certificates for men

Spa at home

Free spa treatments

Terry, a 39-year old man in Canton, Ohio, writes, "Whether people call me a metrosexual or feminine man, I don't care. I like to take good care of my skin and the results show. I still get more attention than I need from girls in their early twenties though I am happily married to a wonderful woman who loves to touch my skin. I read both your articles on skin care for men (Personal care for men and Skinceuticals for skin care) but I still have not found enough information on good face care products. Can you suggest something?"

First of all congratulations on taking care of the skin, because as we said in a previous article, you are old when your skin is old. Since men like you started to seek information on products designed specifically for men, manufacturers are paying attention and have introduced several high-quality products.

So here is our list of top five products that we like and have been recommending to other men that have asked for our recommendation (We have not included Menscience brand yet here since we have obtained some initial positive feedback but are still waiting to hear from more men before we start recommending it):

• Thalgo Men Facial Scrub
• Guinot Tres Homme Facial Cleansing Foam
• Baxter of California Face Wash
• Biotherm Men Cleanser
• MD Formulations Facial Cleanser Men

It wasn't too long ago that we proposed that women let their bra show. We had specifically mentioned this as a strategy for women who are not so well endowed but would still like to draw attention from men.

So it was interesting to notice the "Reveal it" campaign by Gap Body for their lace balconnet bra. The ad featuring Sarah Jessica Parker goes on to ask "How do you wear it?" And if you have not seen the ad yet, Sarah Jessica Parker is dressed in a low-cut beige blouse that shows off the pink lace balconnet bra.

And she does something else that we have been advising women: wear an accessory like a necklace that draws attention to your front.

So while letting the bra straps show was no longer a big deal, it seems that women are finally realizing that revealing your bra is the next big trend.

Finally, if you want to send us a photo revealing your bra, we will be glad to feature you on our website. Please contact us if you want to send us your photos.

Related reading

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AA cup bras

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Several readers have written to us asking what their options are now that Merck, the manufacturer of Vioxx, has decided to recall the drug because it basically doubles the risk of heart attacks and strokes in long-term users. (Update: Since writing of this article, complete coverage of Vioxx recall and lawsuits is now available at Vioxx recall blog)

You should read this article if:

• You or a family member/friend has suffered from arthritis.
• You live anywhere in the world, not just the United States, since Vioxx was sold to approximately 80 million people all over the world (though the name used was Ceoxx in some countries) of which 20 millions are Americans.
• If you have suffered from pain and visited a doctor but never bothered to find out what drug was prescribed to you.

What are the next steps for arthritis patients injured by Vioxx?

• Immediately review all the drugs that you are currently taking and stop taking Vioxx right away.
• Set up an appointment with your doctor immediately to make sure that you are not consuming Vioxx at this time and discuss alternatives.
• Since the situation is still very new and fluid, you will need a Vioxx injury attorney to guide you through the process of making sure that your health does not suffer any more and you can claim compensation from the drug manufacturer.

How to find a Vioxx injury attorney?

• Since the case is still new, only a few attorneys are dealing with Vioxx cases. More will be joining soon to help the victims.
• If you do not live in the United States, you still can contact an attorney in the United States since you may be file to case in the US courts even if you do not live in the US as long as you consumed Vioxx. You can also work with a law firm in your country to get further legal advice.
• Check the credentials of the firm by visiting their websites. Many law firms allow you to contact them through their website or by calling a toll-free number to further discuss your options.

Recommended link: Complete coverage of Vioxx recall: news, lawsuits, updates, & advice

Pregnancy is very hard on a woman's body and if proper care is not take as soon a woman becomes pregnant, during pregnancy, and for several months after childbirth, the body may get totally out of shape. That is why it is very important that overall fitness should be a top of mind issue for a woman, her doctors, and family members. (Related article: Health issues for pregnant women)

Let us look at what Jenny is saying, "I think that your articles on health issues for women have really helped me with my horrible feeling that I have about my saggy chest. Not only it is small, I have stretch marks on them from pregnancy about a year and a half ago, and also, they have sagged pretty badly. Is there anything that I can do about the sagging?"

Maybe Jenny is too late to have firm and perky breasts but this is what we think. The only way to get the perfect shape after childbirth is to have plastic surgery - a procedure called Mastopexy or breast lift. It seems that the sag is pretty bad in Jenny's case. There are a few creams that help with stretch marks and give some firmness but the improvement is very minor. A chest massage is also a great help since it is totally natural way to make the blood flow to the area. Many Hollywood stars practise yoga.

The other alternative is to change your attitude and start feeling good about your body. There are many tips on this website about how to do that and also how to dress the right way.

Related reading

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This seems to be what many women keep telling themselves all the time. There is nothing worse than that. When you don't like your own body you will never have the self-esteem and confidence as a woman to attract men. So when you will not find a relationship or destroy the one you have, you will get even more miserable. That is a vicious circle and you need to get out of it by seeking help with your self-esteem development.

Below are some comments that we reproducing from the emails that we have received. If you think like any of these women below, please stop doing so.

"I am 28 and have only size AA cups. Over the past 10 years I have become so insecure about my breast size and I hate myself to the a point that I am trying to look for ways to make myself totally 'disappear' from this world. I want to disppear but not be dead beacause I do not even want anyone to look at or touch me after I die!!! And, of course I find it VERY difficult to be in a relationship. I will finds thousands of reasons for not seeing a doctor or doing any annual medical check up because this will require me to take off my shirt! I was driving myself towards a very negative path every day until one day somebody told me that: If you do not love and accept yourself, who else in this world will love you and accept you? So, I started to face my body and am trying my best to accept what GOD gave me. I took off my shirt in front of my physician and discussed with him about my fear and my problem for the first time. And I started a relationship a couple of months ago and it is going well. Frankly, I am not totally out of the problem yet. I still need more time and more support!"
~ Emily

"I am bummed out that my body is not attractive and I have never really climaxed in whole life, no matter what I try."
~ Nancy

"I am an A cup, 4'10" and 100 lbs. I don't even feel like doing outdoor stuff with my daughter because of this! It is totally destroying my life. I am consumed with thoughts and images of these "perfect women", and it's hurting all relationships I have. I want you guys to help me, if possible. I am at the end of my rope and have even fallen into a heavy depression over this."
~ Natasha

"I have been obssessed with my body lately, don't know what's wrong with me. I have always been confident about myself. I'm thinking about taking birth contol pills, because one of my friends (32 A), has taken the pills and it caused an increase in her size to 32B. I don't know if it will work for me, please help."
~ Tia

"I am 27 years old and have been married for 8 years and have four children. I am very flat and I am so ashamed of my body. My husband says that I am fine but I don't feel that way. I am so jealous of women that have curvaceous bodies and it has hurt my marriage because I accuse my husband of looking at other women. I think it is lack of self esteem that is hurting me."
~ Dora

Let me start off by taking the example of my sister-in-law. When I last saw her two years ago, she looked absolutely gorgeous even though she has three kids (one of them a teenager) and was going through a divorce. But her beautiful skin, dark hair, and charming personality made me like her a bit more than a man should like his sister-in-law. So I was kind of looking forward to her when she decided to visit us with her new boyfriend.

And what a disappointment she has been! Her boyfriend is obese and eats like a pig (literally!). When we went out, not only did he order a lot of food for himself, he also picked the dishes that are loaded with fat. As soon as they arrived, they suggested we go grocery shopping since they did not want to eat with a dieting couple like us and our refrigerator was loaded with junk food. She has picked really bad eating habits from him and eats what he eats. They often eat from each other's dishes.

Look at her excuses: "He makes me eat", "He is always taking me out", "I have to eat more to give him company", etc. In fact now she tells my wife and I that we look weak and ugly because our faces are not round.

Are you helping your partner or family member with dieting?

1. Never force any one to eat what you like to eat, particularly if you like to eat unhealthy food.
2. If someone is on a diet, you need to support rather than tempt that person. Most people become obese because they lack self discipline and control.
3. If possible, learn from a dieting person and start a diet program yourself.
4. And for those of you who blame another person in your life for not letting you be on a diet, grow up. Stop behaving like a kid. Take control of your life and stop blaming others.

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You have probably seen the models or actress or the divas on the Oscars night. Their eyes sometimes are so expressive and their eyelashes seem so thick and large. And you just fell in love with their eyes. If you are a woman you wondered if you had been blessed with those eyelashes you would be a movie star and if you were a man you fantasized about looking deep into her eyes and falling in love with her. Here is the secret - those eyelashes are false and any woman can have them without spending a great deal of money. Celebrities like Lindsay Lohan literally wear fake lashes every single day when they are in public.

How to put false eyelashes?

Selecting the eye lashes: The best collection of eyelashes as you might have guessed is online. And believe it or not, but Amazon.com that you might know for its extensive collection of books, also happens to have the largest collection of false eyelashes. Other websites that carry a huge choice are Prescriptives, Mavala Double Lash, Esolica, and Sephora. You can also purchase them in local beauty stores but the choice is limited. A smaller selection is available in discount stores such as Walmart and Target.

There are a few types of eyelashes:

Hair type: Artificial or natural. The synthetic ones are fine if it only for cosmetic purposes.

Full lashes and individual lashes: The full lashes are the ones your grandma used to use. They are easier to use and convenient, but they may not give you a natural look. The individual artificial lashes are more natural looking. They are used in the exterior corner of the eye and help to create more expressive and sexy eyes.

Color: If you want a natural look, try to use a color similar to your eyelashes with mascara. For dark-skin women, brown and black are the most appropriate. If you want a special look there are many options for eye-lashes.

How to apply them?

What will you need: Eye lashes, glue, tweezers and a toothpick

Generally speaking each package of artificial lashes has its own instructions. Below you will find general instructions and a few makeup artist tips.

Review the length of the lashes, put them close to your natural eyelashes and determine what length is better, and then trim them with scissors.

Clean your face and eyes. Apply your foundation and concealer. Try not to apply any grease on the eyelashes line, because the grease will make it more difficult for the glue to work.

You need to be in front of a mirror, preferably a magnifier mirror. Make sure you have everything you may need handy.

Apply the glue in the places where you want to put the lashes. Use only a little bit; if you need more, you can always put more. If you put too much glue, this maybe visible. Follow the glue instructions; some glues require you to wait a few seconds. Try not to apply the glue directly over your own eyelashes because you may damage them. And of course, be careful not to put glue in your eyes.

Apply the artificial eyelashes directly over your own eyelashes. You may push with the tweezer or the toothpick. Be careful not to pinch your eyes.

If you are using individual eyelashes in the corner of your eye follow the same instruction only in this area.

Apply your eye makeup as usual. Most people do not apply mascara over the artificial eyelashes, but if you wish you may do it.

Makeup artist tips

If you use eyeliner on the eyelid, apply it before you put on the eyelashes, directly on your eyelash line.

If you curve you eyelashes, do it before applying the artificial eyelashes; it is easier that way. If your natural eyelashes are not dark, you may apply mascara before the artificial eyelashes in a color that matches the artificial eyelashes’ color.

Taking them off

If you use waterproof glue, use a special remover for this type of glue. Otherwise, you may use warm water and your regular eye make up remover.

Be careful when you pull the artificial eyelashes off so you do not pull your natural eyelashes too. You may use the tweezers to take them off.

Once you have taken them off, follow the package instructions to store them.

Do not ever sleep with artificial eyelashes because you may damage your eyes or cause infection.

To perfectly apply the artificial eyelashes takes experience and patience. Do not expect perfection the first time. Now you know how the celebrities get those gorgeous lashes and now you can have them too.

Recommended link: More beauty and style tips

Relationships with Japanese women

It sounds like a harsh statement but considering the number of sad stories that we receive from our members about their broken hearts compel us to warn others in similar situations. While thousands of foreign men are happily married to Japanese women and others either have excellent romance/friendship with them, there are also horror stories of how Japanese women just disappear out of someone's life with no explanation and, in many cases, no contact information to even ask what went wrong.

There are three extremely important attributes of Japanese culture that everyone should be aware of before getting into a romantic relationship:

1. It is extremely important for a Japanese girl to be able to claim that she has a boyfriend. Otherwise, she might end up having a low self-esteem and her friends would think of her as not attractive enough.
2. In certain groups of women, it is even fashionable to have a gaijin boyfriend. Thus, Japanese girls will sometimes have relationships with no emotional attachment at all. If they need to be physically intimate to maintain it, they will do that too, without necessarily feeling any love for the man.
3. Finally, Japanese people try to cause minimum embarrassment to others and saving face is extremely important. Thus, when the time has come for them to move on, they literally "move on". Going through an emotional drama of crying/hugging/kissing/shouting or a mix of all of these at the time of a breakup, as you might see in a movie, does not happen with Japanese women most of the time.

Wong, a Singaporean currently studying in Australia, had a similar experience with a Japanese girlfriend, Natsuko. He met her at his college and as they started having lunch together, they almost fell in love with each other. He writes, "I never admitted to her but I think I slowly got some feelings for her. I have had several broken relationships that did not work for one reason or other and that is why I was simply not ready to commit to another girl".

While Wong was still struggling with his feelings, Natsuko showed up one day and told him, "I will be going home to Japan now. Thank you for the time we spent together. If you want me to stay I will, but if you don't tell me I will not know." Since Wong was too confused to say anything and wanted some more time, he could not make himself say anything but realized later on that she had this conversation with him minutes before leaving. Before Wong could get back to her, she was gone, with no contact information. As nice as Japanese people are, Natsuko did leave a jar of handmade stars for Wong as a gift. Wong writes, "It was really sad that even before I could decide to keep her here in Australia, she went back to Japan. I was very sad and I am still sad and lonely without her. As I was the only person in the college who was closest to her, I couldn't get her contact details from anyone. The only thing that remind me of her are the stars . Pictures of her were not taken, as we didn't go anywhere special that needed a camera. But one thing is for sure. The stars are there for me to remember her. And I also gave her a necklace. I know that necklace would help her remember me too." Wong is still interested in meeting Natsuko and he informs us that "If one day she sees this article she may find a way to contact me or I could contact her again."

Another MYNIPPON member Joe fell in love with a Japanese girl Etsuko who actually was ready to marry him. During the course of their romance, she got an opportunity to attend coaching classes at a school in Tokyo so that she could try to enter Tokyo University. Joe encouraged her to move to Tokyo despite the fact that they would not be able to see each other often since he himself was planning to move there in an year and he wanted her to succeed in her career. Once she moved to Tokyo, she called him once and even came to see him once. She promised to call him back as soon as she got her phone hooked up. He informs us, "I never heard from her again. I did have her number at her parent's home but I did not think it was appropriate for me to call them and ask for her number. If she did not want to call me, I could not impose myself on her. After 12 years, I still do not know what went wrong. I wish she had just told me something or given me a chance to make amends."

Japanese people seem determined to keep the gaijins out of their lives. The word means 'the outside pe